The Big Power Grab: Our Survey on Women, Work, and Life Balance Will Surprise You
Look who's talking!
Contrary to expectations that women go mute in meetings, more than half of men and women said they speak up "all the time" or "frequently." And, happily, experience counts: One third of entry-level workers are regular talkers, compared with three quarters of higher-ups.
How I got that raise
1. I asked. Obvious, maybe, but although it was the third time I’d talked to an employer about my salary, it was the first time that I didn’t simply smile and say "thank you" to the first figure offered.
2. I mentioned another colleague's salary. This is controversial; few bosses actually want employees talking to one another about money (that's why more than a few make you sign a nondisclosure form). But of course that's exactly why you should consider it. Lilly Ledbetter got screwed out of hundreds of thousands at Goodyear because she didn't know that the men in her position earned more.
3. I played a little hardball. The colleague making more even though we had the same job at the general-interest magazine where we worked? A man. I didn't really think that I'd been paid less because of my gender, but I knew it looked bad and subtly mentioned it (tone is everything at a moment like this).
4. I steeled myself for unpleasantness. "I was raised never to talk about money," my boss said. In a perfect world, these things would only ever be amiable. But it's also okay if the situation gets tense, because it will end. After we agreed on a salary, my employer and I never talked about it again.
Flex time for thee, but not me
The lesson here: The reality of flex-time arrangements—nontraditional hours, telecommuting, working at home one day a week—is much more attractive than the theoretical possibility to both men and women.
Maternity leave
The Family and Medical Leave Act requires companies with more than 50 employees to give three months of leave to new mothers, but it doesn't stipulate that women be paid. The upshot is that about half of U.S. women are left to choose between a paycheck and caring for their babies. Incredibly, we're one of only eight countries worldwide that doesn't mandate paid maternity leave. Our miserly compatriots (see map): Papua New Guinea, Nauru, Tonga, Western Samoa, Palau, Liberia, Suriname.
At the workplace
Men are fickle
81 percent of men and 93 percent of women said public policy should "address workplace challenges such as equal pay, paid sick leave, and paid maternity leave," but before you cheer your brothers-in-arms: The majority of men also said the "country has made most of the changes needed to give women equal rights as men." (Only 29 percent of women agreed.) Take Home: Ladies, say specifically what you want! Gentlemen, aren’t you supposed to be the logical sex?
The top jobs
What?! "That male and female leaders* think women aren't tough enough to lead is deeply disturbing," says Neera Tanden, the head of the Center for American Progress. "I was amazed people would even admit it. I think we've hit upon one of the reasons women have plateaued."
* The graph uses data from respondents who identified themselves as leaders, as opposed to middle-management or entry-level workers.
Who would you rather work for? A man or a woman?
Deal with your own family circus
61 percent of mothers say employers don't make it easy to juggle motherhood and work; more than half of fathers agree.
The mommy detente: (Or perhaps the war was only in the media?) Nearly two thirds of respondents said "most women are supportive of other women’s choices" of whether to work or stay home.
Kind and realistic or unfair and patronizing?
28 percent of fathers think their bosses give them less responsibility out of concern that they're too busy with their families; only 14 percent of women think the same.
We're going to have to start dressing in drag
Wage data confirms, of course, that women make 77 cents for every dollar men make (a $400,000-plus lifetime deficit for us). The Lilly Ledbetter Act gave women more time to file wage-discrimination lawsuits—important because many don’t realize they’re getting cheated until they’ve spent years at a job.
What would help?
•The Paycheck Fairness Act: Among other provisions, it would prohibit employers from retaliating against workers who share their salaries—a major tool for any group that is discriminated against.
Anything Else?
•Part of the wage gap is due to women’s lesser job experience, itself a product of the fact that when a child arrives, we leave the workforce or go part-time more than men. One fix: paid parental leave. Data shows it ups the chances that a woman will return to her job postbaby.
•Paid sick days, which nearly four in 10 female workers lack, also help women accrue experience on pace with men, since we drop out more to care for ill children or relatives.
•Brain transplants! Forty percent of the wage gap is “unexplained,” for which overt and unintentional sexism are thought largely to blame, says CAP policy expert Sarah Jane Glynn. The idea that “women work for fun, that they don’t need as much money because their husbands will subsidize them” is alive and well, if often subconscious.
It can happen to you
I confess: I’m one of those women over 35 who rolls her eyes when young women say, “No, I’ve never been discriminated against at work—never, ever, ever.” The subtext I hear in the strenuous declaration is: It’s never going to happen to me. Now, they may be right; the survey shows that only 28 percent of women overall say they’ve experienced discrimination. But—and here’s where my reflexive pique comes in—the data also reveals that the higher women rise, the more sexism rears its bewhiskered head. Those at the top of the hierarchy were 45 percent more likely than those at the bottom to report discrimination, which helps explain the funereal drumbeat of stats we hear so often: Women make up just 4 percent of Forbes 500 CEOs, 18 percent of Congress, 15 percent of corporate boards, and so on. My point is not to scold you, little sisters, but to ask you to remember that gender discrimination is still not ancient history, much as we might wish it otherwise. Here’s a deal: I’ll stop rolling my eyes if you open yours a little wider.
The stay-at-home dad is here...to stay
Virtually the same portion of mothers and fathers (48 percent and 45 percent, respectively) wouldn’t work outside the home if they didn’t have to.
A sad take on that: A lot of people really hate their jobs. A more sanguine take: A lot of people really love caring for their children.
An undeniably positive take: We’ve moved firmly beyond the era when a man wouldn’t dare embrace so-called women’s work.
The most oft-quoted piece of advice from Sheryl Sandberg is that you shouldn’t “leave before you leave,” meaning women shouldn’t put the brakes on their careers in anticipation of one day having children. Either Sandberg's pronouncement changed the culture in warp-speed time, or women were never doing this much in the first place. Only seven percent of women copped to turning down a new assignment or promotion because they didn't think they could handle it once they become mothers.
Family life
Is there a mother- hood penalty?
The question we didn’t ask because, come on, who’d tell the truth? Luckily, however, someone else was crafty enough to figure out a way. Cornell researchers sent out fake résumés to employers advertising high-status job openings. The résumés were identical, except some indicated that the job applicant was an officer in an elementary school PTA—a “tell” that the woman was a mother—and some didn’t. Employers were half as likely to contact the PTA officers. Ouch.
More mothers than fathers felt that the “demands of family life make it hard for me to devote complete attention to my job.”
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