Hi <<First Name>>,
I got LUCKY!
I thought this newsletter was going to be all about grads and dads, as it is the time of year where we celebrate the father figures in our lives as well as celebrate the graduation from various levels of education. I figured I would tie it all together in a nice metaphysical metaphor and explain how our consciousness grows and evolves as it graduates from the physical world to the world of spirit.
Quickly, the rebellious side of my personality decided that I would NOT celebrate dads or grads as that was in the mindset already and I was in need of writing something else. I waited for the perfect something else to hit me…and it came as a Father’s Day present TO ME from my dog on the Other Side.
On October 7
th, 1994, my world was changed in a great way. That was the day my furry friend came into this world… a bichon frise that I would later name JOLIE (Jolie Bear as her legal and proper name). I didn’t officially come to meet her until around late-November, and the proper adoption happened at the end of December.
My entire life, I wanted a dog of my own. My dad said, “NO!” My mother said, “NO!” Mom and dad divorced and we moved into my Grandma’s house… SHE SAID, “NO!” I was dog-blocked at every twist and turn. When I was finally living on my own, in my own house, I decided I was going to get my own dog. There was a part of me that was so used to asking for permission, that I kind of put Sandra (my wife, then fiancé) into the position of saying no. Her parents thought it was crazy for me to get a dog, as I was already struggling financially with a home and planning a wedding. The reality that I was being told no again was wagering war on my psyche.
I had stopped into a local breeder who actually works through a puppy store (please save the emails and Facebook posts about rescues – I actually have worked with one called SMALL PAWS out of Kansas City) and played with Jolie. Each time I would stop in to see her, I waited to see if she was still there or if the breeder had placed her. You had to see how she lit up when she saw me. It was soul love… pure and simple.
Right before Christmas, my aunt Theresa, cousin RoRo and her daughter came to visit me and Little Theresa said, “can we go see puppies?” I had them in the car and on the way in less than five minutes. Sandra assured me that we were not purchasing, just petting. That was fine; I got a chance to see the white ball of sunshine and that would make my day. We walked in, and there were a few different breeds being displayed and meeting their families. One or two were being lectured about the responsibility that comes with being a fur-parent. I tuned it all out and went right to Jolie and picked her up. Sandra was looking away, and when she turned back, she saw Jolie in my arms… nuzzled up into my neck. Her whole demeanor changed and she said, “OH MY GOD… that’s YOUR dog! You need to take her home!”
Without hesitation, I turned and walked to the breeder and said, “she’s mine.” I felt like the lady in the IKEA commercial yelling at her husband to “start the CAR” as I didn’t want anything to get in the way of me getting her. Finally, I was to have my own dog. What I didn’t realize was that I was going to have a love affair. Everyone says that their child is special, or good looking, or smart - and I clearly am one of them – but I am serious when I say this: Jolie was an amazing soul. There were people who were self-proclaimed animal haters that she melted and turned into appreciators at the very least.
One night, when I was alone and VERY sick with over 102 fever, I would wake up and see Jolie sitting up facing me. She would make eye contact and assure me that she was there and in some way let me know that I was okay. That night, I felt my mother using her as her instrument of letting me feel “her” through Jolie. She slept on my pillow every night and when I got married, Sandra moved in and Jolie had to move to the floor. She would jump onto the bed and claim her spot after she gave me a few “kisses” to the forehead. And then the showdown happened. Sandra and Jolie had a moment of “this is my pillow”… and Jolie worked her magic. For years after that, she slept on top of Sandra’s head. Night after night. We got another Bichon named ROXIE - and don’t get me wrong, I loved her too – but she was not Jolie. She was special; she communicated in a special way and we certainly had a connection.
Roxie passed before Jolie and as sick as Jolie was, I felt like she was not going to leave until I released her. I came home from travelling and sat her down with me on the kitchen floor and looked into her 18-year-old eyes and thanked her for all the things she got me through that no human would ever know or possibly understand. I thanked her for the unconditional love she showed and taught me, and for teaching me that my heart had so much more room to feel and experience. And then, I told her it was okay that she left me and that I would see her one day again. I knew I would see her again…on the Other Side. Jolie took a turn for the worse and Sandra had to release her when I was on my next trip. Part of me was sad that I couldn’t be the one to be with her, but I had said my goodbyes and knew that like people, she might have had a tougher time making her transition if I was actually the one there at that moment. I cried a bit, but not a lot, as I truly know that I will see her again. That was September 2012.
When Roxie passed in November of 2011, I spoke about it, I wrote about it and I talked about it on THE FIVE. When Jolie crossed over, Katrina asked me if I was going to discuss it on the show and I told her no. She was perplexed as to why. I explained that I had to keep that mourning to myself and not share it. Some grief can be shared and honored with many… but I think some experiences need to be processed singularly as an individual, and Jolie’s loss was and is profound for me.
I waited and hoped to feel her after she left, but got nothing. I would take great comfort in seeing my clients and doing readings as it helped me to feel connected to Jolie when their animals came through. I even thought about calling Sonya Fitzpatrick, the pet psychic, for a reading to check in with my little bear and see how she was doing now… and did she meet up with my other family? Sonya has an amazing ability and she has given me info about the girls before.
Last month, I had a visit from Jolie while sleeping and it was quite profound. She told me in the dream that she was going to find her way back to me and I had to look for her with the big black spot on her. In the dream, I laughed and said to her that she couldn’t be coming back to me as a bichon, as they are all white with no black spots. Again, in the dream, I was told that Jolie was coming back and I would recognize her as she had the big black spot on her. I scratched her and kissed her in the dream, fully realizing that I was dreaming and probably just dealing with my loss in this manner.
In June, I encountered really bad weather on a southern tour, had to cancel my event in Little Rock, Arkansas, (a return trip is looking like October sometime) and spent about 10 hours at the Atlanta airport trying to get first to Little Rock, and then just home. I told my aunt who was with me about the dream. She looked at me like I was crazy for even having a dream about getting another dog as I have two at home… Coco and Sydney. They are adorable… they are fun…. They are NOT my dogs… they are my mother-in–law’s and my kid’s dogs. That is fine… my kids will grow up with that love and that is important. Then my aunt said, “Bichon’s don’t reincarnate, do they?” I believe that the souls of animals can actually reincarnate and do; quicker than a human actually.
So, the day that I was supposed to be in Arkansas, I was on Long Island. I went to my office and figured I would watch the next episode of EVOLVE… and I did. Then Paul (producer) and I walked to get a bite to eat. I NEVER go out, I usually order in. While in the restaurant, I met the breeder that I bought Jolie from. Strange…I should not have been there in the first place, and now I bump into him. After that, I told Paul about my dream. I asked if we could stop at the breeder’s business; we did. I walked around looking for a bichon with a big black spot on it. No bichons. I finally asked the woman who works with him if they even deal with the breed anymore, as this was 19 years ago. She said, “YES… I have two here… one male and one female. Just not out for display yet.”
I started to sweat. I quickly asked her if there was a big black spot on one of the dogs and she looked at me like I was a nut-bag as it would not be a bichon if it did. She brought the female down and she immediately assumed the exact, and I mean the exact same stance that Jolie did with me as if we had done this for 18 years. It startled me.
Paul whipped out his phone and took a photo.
A woman who does not work with the breeder/trainers happened to turn around and she exclaimed, “YOU SO KNOW THAT IS YOUR DOG, RIGHT?”
I started to feel anxious. I lifted the dog up… looking for a black marking in some way to give me the validation that I needed to take her. Meanwhile, Paul emailed Sandra the photo. My phone rings. “Are you crazy?” that was kind of the conversation that ensued. I forced Sandra and the kids to come to my office where I would be holding the dog. She came and couldn’t express any other opinion beyond her being really cute. My exact words were, “Is this
A Bichon…or is this
OUR bichon?”
At the end of that day… I just couldn’t make an emotional purchase and brought her back to the breeder. I thanked them for allowing me to play with her, but I was leaning towards a no because of my schedule. Sandra and I were at dinner that night and she picked up her phone. There was the photo that Paul had sent her. “She really is cute!” was what she said. I asked her for her phone to see the photo, but couldn’t get passed the damage that Sandra had done to her iPhone. I mean, the Apple police should arrest her for the abuse this phone has seen. Cracked… dented…. Screen all messed up… I turned the damaged phone back to Sandra and was like, “ REALLY?????” Her face dropped. I was like, “What?”
“I found your black spot.” The screen of her iPhone was damaged and there is a large black spot on the screen… and it was perfectly placed on the puppy.
But wait…there’s more. I enlarged the photo and looked into the spot. You be the judge and tell me what you see J Remember that Jolie’s full name was Jolie Bear.
For those of you who are not animal lovers, I know you think I might have completely lost it. But life and love are eternal and that includes our pets. So… LUCKY… was picked up on Father’s Day and I feel like Jolie found her way back in this new vehicle with the black spot. J
For those of you who are struggling with the loss of your fur babies… I don’t want this newsletter to be what sends people into looking for the reincarnated version of their pets that crossed over. Instead, I want it to be inspiration to know that they love us as much as we love them and they CAN find their way back to us, whether it is in the physical world, or a dream.
The reason I named her LUCKY is simple. If she “is” Jolie… or even Jolie sent…. I am lucky to have recognized the dream and the symbolism to allow her back into my heart again.
Thanks for taking the time to let me share.
All the best
John Edward & Lucky
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