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Diary of a Heretic
Malcolm Tully, the sensitive young owner of a pastry shop in suburban Chicago, only wanted an open-mike night, not a spiritual movement. But when his shop hosts a Saturday night discussion group, he finds an audience hungry to learn life's meaning and ready to pay for it. Seduced by his scheming pastry chef, Carlos, Malcolm becomes reluctant leader of a cult-like business enterprise that Carlos thinks will make them rich.
Malcolm's diary chronicles their transformation as the outlandish venture grows beyond their wildest dreams. His initial panic turns to pride as he gains confidence, but he falters when self-doubt creeps in. Carlos's sexual blandishments turn desperate as he becomes dependent on Malcolm to keep the money flowing in.
Quirky, comic, erotic, and poignant, DIARY OF A HERETIC is a wild ride through the dark reaches of faith and desire.
Malcolm's diary chronicles their transformation as the outlandish venture grows beyond their wildest dreams. His initial panic turns to pride as he gains confidence, but he falters when self-doubt creeps in. Carlos's sexual blandishments turn desperate as he becomes dependent on Malcolm to keep the money flowing in.
Quirky, comic, erotic, and poignant, DIARY OF A HERETIC is a wild ride through the dark reaches of faith and desire.
ebook
First published May 1, 2013
About the author
Kathleen Maher
3 books54 followersI write fiction that’s fast and fun but doesn’t belong to a genre. Plot and character development run neck and neck—at least that’s the balance I’m aiming for. I love to write, and to rewrite, and strive for prose that’s natural, rhythmic, and intimate. And it's become apparent that despite myself, I'm drawn to the exception to every rule.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 8, 2013
For hours after finishing “Diary of a Heretic,” I wondered how I, a mere reviewer, could do justice in review to the modern classic presented. This is a deeply profound novel. I wallowed in the bathtub and contemplated and then realized, like Malcolm, sometimes we just have to get on with it. I loved this novel and Malcolm would never understand that.
You might ask, reading the description, why people would follow some average guy to raise him to the level to which Malcolm rises in this novel. How can we believe that story? Malcolm doesn’t see why people would follow him though he’s telling us the story Maher conveys credibility within the text to the reader through Malcolm’s philosophically charged journal entries. Isn’t this deep introspection and observation about the common sense of life the sort of validation for which we all hunger? Of course, we know that behind the scenes all is not well for Malcolm. He doesn’t want the accolades but he so very deeply wants them. The knowledge that he is good for something and that people will listen to him is intoxicating.
At one point in the novel Carlos tells Malcolm that they’ll take over the world because that’s what religions do. Religion Without Rules is a roller coaster that Malcolm boarded and can’t get off. We see Malcolm develop as Maher tells his story through him. The thin lines between sex, hate and religion are palpable in the novel. Over the course of the novel Malcolm develops an infatuation for a young man who reminds him of his lost love and the development of that story-line is philosophically and brilliantly written.
Maher originally posted “Diary of a Heretic” as a serial on her website but I am glad to have had it in this format. As established, I am not a patient person and cannot imagine having waited week to week to discover the fate of a character that we want to yell at, shake, wake up and tell everything will be okay.
Much of the plot flows around Malcolm like water. He is a bit player in his own life. He conveys to us the events and wonders why things must be as they are. We see his paranoia and we come to realize that just like Malcolm we never truly knew the other characters.
As stated above, I loved this book. “Diary of a Heretic” was like reading Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions” for the first time. Maher gives us a deeply philosophical and yet very approachable novel. Pick this one up today and let me know what you think.
You might ask, reading the description, why people would follow some average guy to raise him to the level to which Malcolm rises in this novel. How can we believe that story? Malcolm doesn’t see why people would follow him though he’s telling us the story Maher conveys credibility within the text to the reader through Malcolm’s philosophically charged journal entries. Isn’t this deep introspection and observation about the common sense of life the sort of validation for which we all hunger? Of course, we know that behind the scenes all is not well for Malcolm. He doesn’t want the accolades but he so very deeply wants them. The knowledge that he is good for something and that people will listen to him is intoxicating.
At one point in the novel Carlos tells Malcolm that they’ll take over the world because that’s what religions do. Religion Without Rules is a roller coaster that Malcolm boarded and can’t get off. We see Malcolm develop as Maher tells his story through him. The thin lines between sex, hate and religion are palpable in the novel. Over the course of the novel Malcolm develops an infatuation for a young man who reminds him of his lost love and the development of that story-line is philosophically and brilliantly written.
Maher originally posted “Diary of a Heretic” as a serial on her website but I am glad to have had it in this format. As established, I am not a patient person and cannot imagine having waited week to week to discover the fate of a character that we want to yell at, shake, wake up and tell everything will be okay.
Much of the plot flows around Malcolm like water. He is a bit player in his own life. He conveys to us the events and wonders why things must be as they are. We see his paranoia and we come to realize that just like Malcolm we never truly knew the other characters.
As stated above, I loved this book. “Diary of a Heretic” was like reading Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions” for the first time. Maher gives us a deeply philosophical and yet very approachable novel. Pick this one up today and let me know what you think.
May 5, 2013
If I may, I would like to reprint the review I wrote for this wonderful book on Amazon:
I read "Diary of a Heretic" in serial fashion on Kathleen Maher's blog (her blog is also titled "Diary of a Heretic"), and the publication of each new chapter was a highlight of my week, the book is that good. It's an unusual tale, the story of a rather unassuming young man who somehow, almost by accident, finds himself starting a new religion when all he really meant to do was to start a free-form discussion group at his bakery/coffee shop. This book reminded me a little of the novels of Muriel Spark, in the way it looks at the ways ordinary and extraordinary people, in their stumbling ways, try to find meaning in their lives, but to be honest it's not quite like any other novel I've read, and, to me, that alone is cause for celebration.
Having read and enjoyed this novel so much in its serial form, I can't wait to read it again in one fell swoop on my Kindle.
I read "Diary of a Heretic" in serial fashion on Kathleen Maher's blog (her blog is also titled "Diary of a Heretic"), and the publication of each new chapter was a highlight of my week, the book is that good. It's an unusual tale, the story of a rather unassuming young man who somehow, almost by accident, finds himself starting a new religion when all he really meant to do was to start a free-form discussion group at his bakery/coffee shop. This book reminded me a little of the novels of Muriel Spark, in the way it looks at the ways ordinary and extraordinary people, in their stumbling ways, try to find meaning in their lives, but to be honest it's not quite like any other novel I've read, and, to me, that alone is cause for celebration.
Having read and enjoyed this novel so much in its serial form, I can't wait to read it again in one fell swoop on my Kindle.
February 17, 2016
With tremendous insight and clarity Kathleen Maher probes the deepest levels of humanity, the complexities of emotion, and the forces that can drive people in an unexpected direction: "Diary of a Heretic" (2013) is narrated by Malcolm, who becomes a great successful spiritual leader after he decides to host philosophical discussion meetings in his Chicago coffee shop.
The coffee shop, located near Northwestern University, was blanketed in heavy snow following a winter storm. Malcolm, a quiet deep thinker was inspired by his love affair with his manipulating seductive pastry chef, Carlo's, who was well aware of Malcolm's undetected depressive state, and used it to his full advantage and future financial gain. Religion Without Rules soon had hundreds of loyal financially supporting followers, as Carlo's masterminded and controlled the inside operation. Malcolm would discover more about himself leading and advising others spiritually, confronting his deepest issues, and the new direction his life would take in this LGBT alternative fiction classic.
I'll be following Kathleen Maher and look forward to reading more from this notable prize winning author. Maher wrote "Diary of a Heretic" while raising her two small children in Tarrytown, NY. Maher's fiction has been featured in numerous prestigious literary journals. Many thanks and appreciation to Beekman Press for the ARC of this book for the purpose of review and for sponsorship of the Goodreads Giveaways.
The coffee shop, located near Northwestern University, was blanketed in heavy snow following a winter storm. Malcolm, a quiet deep thinker was inspired by his love affair with his manipulating seductive pastry chef, Carlo's, who was well aware of Malcolm's undetected depressive state, and used it to his full advantage and future financial gain. Religion Without Rules soon had hundreds of loyal financially supporting followers, as Carlo's masterminded and controlled the inside operation. Malcolm would discover more about himself leading and advising others spiritually, confronting his deepest issues, and the new direction his life would take in this LGBT alternative fiction classic.
I'll be following Kathleen Maher and look forward to reading more from this notable prize winning author. Maher wrote "Diary of a Heretic" while raising her two small children in Tarrytown, NY. Maher's fiction has been featured in numerous prestigious literary journals. Many thanks and appreciation to Beekman Press for the ARC of this book for the purpose of review and for sponsorship of the Goodreads Giveaways.
September 8, 2015
This is a remarkable book - Deeply funny and moving at the same time. It's a quick read and I actually read it twice in succession: first because the wild plot was pulling me along, and then again because I wanted to savor certain scenes and passages. Like this one, where Malcolm, the narrator, has had more than one aquavit too many (the makers of aquavit liqueur should license this for an ad campaign): "One sip of aquavit and all discomfort, every ill or hurt fades into nothing....the aquavit constitutes a realm where one's purpose in life appears clear, happy, and absolute. A realm where each glorious glassful sets my candy-red beating big, bigger, biggest, up out of my chest, where it sprouts wings and carries me off." Aaah...
August 25, 2013
This is a book about cognitive dissonance, the ability to deeply hold two contrary beliefs simultaneously. All its main characters succumb to a pull-me, push-you of their emotions as they realise their beliefs have feet of clay and yet still follow them. And why wouldn’t they, since those beliefs revolve around a religious cult?
Malcolm owns a coffee and pastry shop and is in mourning for his dead lover Colin. He has a keen mind and desires to make his shop a centre for debating ideas “a coffee klatch with pretensions”. However his pastry chef Carlos sees his opportunity to twist it to his own ends. Instead of a talking shop, they conspire to create a religion with Malcolm as the Prophet and Carlos the business manager. They call it “Religion without Rules” and Malcolm’s shaken certainties after his lover’s death are embodied by establishing a huge role for doubt as much as the role of faith. Chocolate eclairs wryly replace the wafer as the Host, while there is a hilarious section where Malcolm’s attempt to compose a sceptical doctrine of the signs of mystical experiences while he himself fasts, is constantly interrupted and undermined by the hotel’s room service trolley of culinary delights.
While the cult grows at a huge and profitable rate, the motives of the followers in joining up is never probed. But rather than that being a flaw in the novel, the reader quickly appreciates that if the cult prophet himself can delude himself as to his own motives, then why wouldn’t a host of people in search of certainty also fall under the spell? Malcolm knows he’s head of a cult and that his pulpit proclamations are empty. He knows Carlos is conning him both in business and the bedroom. He knows that his fantasy love object Tyler is a lookalike of his dead lover Colin. And yet he continues to pursue all these aims, desires and actions. Sometimes we do know the truth, but are utterly powerless to change our course of actions in order to attain it.
The other thrust of the book is that of the tease. Carlos the humble pastry chef starts off merely preparing sumptuous cakes and breakfasts which have both Malcolm and us the readers salivating. Carlos fondles and palpates Malcolm stuffed full of calorific food and fit to burst with his aroused desire. But Carlos plays Malcolm before the reader’s very eyes for a good chunk of the book and the reader is invited to surrender to its deliciousness anyway. It’s a grooming process and quite uncomfortable in places but reads utterly authentically.
Once they have consummated their business relationship-cum sex, the tension shifts to the mental tease of the relationship between Malcolm and his nursemaid-cum-minder Maggie. Malcolm is utterly dependent on her emotionally and shares all his intimacies with her to keep him sane among the lies that he is peddling and his disorienting celebrity that keeps him isolated under lock and key. Their relationship is a tease as it veers between the poles of love and hate, underpinned all the while by the knowledge that as a gay man he has no sexual interest in Maggie and an underlying suggestion that Maggie may wish for that to be different. It’s a far more sympathetic relationship to follow than that of Carlos and Malcolm which is transparently manipulative. This is a relationship of unrequited love and fragile neediness.
Ultimately for me, I found myself far more interested in the key relationships than any social satire aspect. I don’t know if this was the author’s intent, that the idea of a cult was to just serve as the context for these tangled relationships to play out, but it did reduce the social commentary’s significance in my eyes. If you like a read that profoundly maps the ups and downs of human relationships, then this book is for you. If you want a trenchant dissection of the operation of a cult, then this possibly isn’t the book. Once I appreciated this, I allowed myself to be wrapped up in its human warmth and foibles.
Malcolm owns a coffee and pastry shop and is in mourning for his dead lover Colin. He has a keen mind and desires to make his shop a centre for debating ideas “a coffee klatch with pretensions”. However his pastry chef Carlos sees his opportunity to twist it to his own ends. Instead of a talking shop, they conspire to create a religion with Malcolm as the Prophet and Carlos the business manager. They call it “Religion without Rules” and Malcolm’s shaken certainties after his lover’s death are embodied by establishing a huge role for doubt as much as the role of faith. Chocolate eclairs wryly replace the wafer as the Host, while there is a hilarious section where Malcolm’s attempt to compose a sceptical doctrine of the signs of mystical experiences while he himself fasts, is constantly interrupted and undermined by the hotel’s room service trolley of culinary delights.
While the cult grows at a huge and profitable rate, the motives of the followers in joining up is never probed. But rather than that being a flaw in the novel, the reader quickly appreciates that if the cult prophet himself can delude himself as to his own motives, then why wouldn’t a host of people in search of certainty also fall under the spell? Malcolm knows he’s head of a cult and that his pulpit proclamations are empty. He knows Carlos is conning him both in business and the bedroom. He knows that his fantasy love object Tyler is a lookalike of his dead lover Colin. And yet he continues to pursue all these aims, desires and actions. Sometimes we do know the truth, but are utterly powerless to change our course of actions in order to attain it.
The other thrust of the book is that of the tease. Carlos the humble pastry chef starts off merely preparing sumptuous cakes and breakfasts which have both Malcolm and us the readers salivating. Carlos fondles and palpates Malcolm stuffed full of calorific food and fit to burst with his aroused desire. But Carlos plays Malcolm before the reader’s very eyes for a good chunk of the book and the reader is invited to surrender to its deliciousness anyway. It’s a grooming process and quite uncomfortable in places but reads utterly authentically.
Once they have consummated their business relationship-cum sex, the tension shifts to the mental tease of the relationship between Malcolm and his nursemaid-cum-minder Maggie. Malcolm is utterly dependent on her emotionally and shares all his intimacies with her to keep him sane among the lies that he is peddling and his disorienting celebrity that keeps him isolated under lock and key. Their relationship is a tease as it veers between the poles of love and hate, underpinned all the while by the knowledge that as a gay man he has no sexual interest in Maggie and an underlying suggestion that Maggie may wish for that to be different. It’s a far more sympathetic relationship to follow than that of Carlos and Malcolm which is transparently manipulative. This is a relationship of unrequited love and fragile neediness.
Ultimately for me, I found myself far more interested in the key relationships than any social satire aspect. I don’t know if this was the author’s intent, that the idea of a cult was to just serve as the context for these tangled relationships to play out, but it did reduce the social commentary’s significance in my eyes. If you like a read that profoundly maps the ups and downs of human relationships, then this book is for you. If you want a trenchant dissection of the operation of a cult, then this possibly isn’t the book. Once I appreciated this, I allowed myself to be wrapped up in its human warmth and foibles.
January 1, 2020
I love this book, partly because the fictional diary-writer feels very close to me, except that I'm not young or male. Also, nobody would ever bully--or trick--me into starting a cult religion, even if it is called Religion Without Rules! Of course those aren't the only differences between the reluctant & naive charismatic Malcolm and me. But I share many of his anxieties & perceptions. Occasionally, Malcolm's one year diary (the year is unnumbered) is overwritten, meaning too many adjectives, but I get that aspect as well! He's hyper-sensitive & sometimes swamped by doubt, which makes him effusive! But not so much that I lost patience. The diary is funny and confessional.
Believing his story requires suspending your belief a bit, but that's part of the magic of fiction! To readers who read my novel & judged the characters eccentric--here is a truly eccentric man! You'll either love him or--not. I loved that some entries were two pages long and others only two sentences. Also, almost every page offers a memorable quote.
Believing his story requires suspending your belief a bit, but that's part of the magic of fiction! To readers who read my novel & judged the characters eccentric--here is a truly eccentric man! You'll either love him or--not. I loved that some entries were two pages long and others only two sentences. Also, almost every page offers a memorable quote.
May 8, 2017
I was continuously lost in this book. Lol. it was an interesting story though.
May 13, 2014
Kathleen Maher writes a story of love, greed, manipulation, lonliness and much more. Diary of a Heretic is a humorous as well as a sobering story. The story depicts the premise of people wanting to believe in something. Malcolm, one of the protagonists, a gifted orator and charismatic, develops a following turning into a cult. We following Malcolm's diary telling of the drastic changes he faces. We see the greed, and destruction he experiences in his journey. Maher has a solid writing style which makes this a smooth and easy read.
February 23, 2016
I've read over half and I have absolutely no desire to keep going. I tried, but it's not for me at all.
I don't care for any of the characters, I'm not curious to see how it plays out. I just don't care.
The writing was ok.
I won this from goodreads first reads.
I don't care for any of the characters, I'm not curious to see how it plays out. I just don't care.
The writing was ok.
I won this from goodreads first reads.
March 3, 2016
Nice book, interesting concept. Possibly not my sort of thing but an enjoyable read none the less.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews