OK, I still don’t know what happened to me, but a few weeks ago I began feeling weird at the grocery store to the point that I wanted to abandon my cart full of 29 pints of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, run out of the store and go home. I felt like I was going to pass out, but at the same time felt horribly scared about it. And do I run and put all the groceries back so they don’t thaw because I’m such a responsible customer? Or do I just bolt out to the car?
Invariably, I squat down and look intently at whatever was on the bottom shelf as if seriously contemplating grabbing another 14 pints of Americone Dream. Hmm, Cherry Garcia or Americone Dream, I just can’t decide, so I’ll just stay down here for a few minutes until I figure it out. Also? What the hell is wrong with me? Go away you scary awful feeling, you. Clearly my plan worked, as no one asked to assist me and I never lost consciousness.
But it kept happening.
But only at the grocery store.
And then it began happening everywhere I went.
And then I couldn’t leave the house.
So when my husband said hey, do you wanna go to the mall—
“NO!” I screamed. “I mean, I think there’s something wrong with me.”
I confessed and suspected that I must have been having panic attacks. Constant 24/7 high anxiety with periodic panic attacks. And heart thumping. Rapid heart thumping.
Why is it always a Friday night when you realize something is wrong enough to go see a doctor? And on Labor Day Weekend for that matter, so it’s even longer before you can see your doctor?
A couple of advice nurse phone calls later led to the suggestion that I try see my doctor on Tuesday morning.
Four highly anxious, try to deep breathe, very long days away.
Apparently either anxiety is a very low priority, or they are not allowed to tell you that you can go to the damn Urgent Care Center and get DRUGS for it. And at that point, I didn’t know you can go to the damn Urgent Care Center and get DRUGS for it.
So, naturally I asked the internet what to do and ended up barely making it to a tea shop and some other place for “alternative” anxiety remedies. I drank lots of passion flower tea and tinctures with very little result. Tried wine a couple of times but I can’t drink more than a glass so it just sort of made me feel….winey.
By then I had lassoed my husband who was not allowed to leave my side for any reason whatsoever. On Saturday, he called the Urgent Care Center who said I could come in but if my racing heart was a concern they’d send me to the ER. If my heart seemed ok, they could give me something for the anxiety. Or I could just go to the ER, but the thought of leaving the house to go somewhere and sit all panicky for 8 hours…I couldn’t make myself move to do it.
But, the Urgent Care Center said they were empty and this is the first time I hear that something can actually be done and be done NOW about the anxiety (as long as I wasn’t having something like a heart attack–you know, one of those five-day-long heart attacks where you can pace the house like a crazy person wondering if you’re having a heart attack.) I was going crazy with the anxiety and would have done ANYTHING for it.
Except leave the house.
Here I was one mile away from relief and I couldn’t bear the thought of going somewhere.
So I sat on the couch clinging to my husband all night trying to distract myself with CNN and other shows that do nothing but talk about death and dying.
The next day, Sunday, I’m gulping down passion flower tea, and swearing off white food, and trying to exercise even though it makes my heart go pitter patter too much, and asking the internet what could possibly be causing this horrible mental state I’m in. The Perimenopause internet Guru says to diet and exercise to help balance your hormones, but Anxiety internet Guru says panic attacks and anxiety come from some childhood trauma and I couldn’t think of anything, unless you count the time some kid hit me in the head with a baseball bat or I fell off the monkey bars but I think they were talking more about psychological trauma.
I’d never been prone to anxiety or panic attacks before which was also supposed to explain my problem.
My husband shook his leash at me and tried to reach the logical part that was left of my brain and said as gently as possible “you are going to be scared here or at the urgent care center, so if they can help you, you may as well be scared there.”
I decided if I could take a shower, I could make it. (Did I also mention that I was getting panicky in the shower too? WTF?) But I couldn’t leave the house looking like a mangy stinky rat with 2 or 3 days worth of bed head.
So, I silently cursed my fear with an F-bomb and took a shower while my husband stood guard.
I then paced the house for a few minutes talking myself into going and said “F^&* it, let’s go!”
At the Urgent Care Center, Ron fills out paper work and I start to cry. This is like the second time Ron has ever seen me cry in his life. I’m like baseball and as you know, there is no crying in baseball.
They call us into a room and asked me what the problem is and I start crying all over again, so Ron had to explain everything. Of course they asked me things like has anything happened in your life recently blah blah blah. No. No. No. My blood pressure is normal, my heart rate is relatively normal. End result: they gave me drugs (generic Ativan) and I felt a million times better within 30 minutes of taking it.
I didn’t feel awesome, but I felt better. And dopey. And much calmer.
I don’t go to the doctor very much and I don’t have a lot of drug experience and I didn’t know you could just walk into a place and say “I need drugs for my anxiety” and boom – you have drugs for your anxiety. (OK, it’s not that easy, but almost…)
That pissed me off. I could have had relief so much sooner! Those days of anxiety are hard to describe other than to say that it’s the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. The fear that I was going crazy and that it would never end, the vulnerability that I couldn’t take care of myself, the racing thoughts of doom and despair. It’s outright paralyzing.
So Tuesday after Labor Day I went to see my doctor who gave me a bunch of tests, so more waiting for results, so more on-again-off-again anxiety, crying, etc., until they decide it’s not hormonal and he prescribes generic Lexapro.
So now I’m waiting for THAT to work. Impatiently waiting. It’s been almost two weeks and I’m in a better mood, I can walk around the block, I can focus on some tasks again, but I still can’t go to the grocery store. The freakin’ grocery store, people!
And if and when this drug takes full effect and I’m all better, I’ll be trying to figure out an exit strategy. Find the root cause of the anxiety and panic attacks so I can ultimately get off the drugs. I mean – no more wine, according to the warning labels – WHAAA?????. Right now my question is, is it perimenopausal? Or did something traumatic happen in my childhood that involved a menacing monster shower head roaming the aisles of the produce section attacking customers like Godzilla that will only reveal itself through regressive hypnotherapy?
Hi Margaret -It’s October, and I hope things have quieted in your head.
When I was unemployed, there were days I couldn’t leave the house. I was paralyzed, scared to go outside and have to talk to a neighbor if they attempted to talk to the lady with the crazy eyes.
The isolation caused my anxiety as did the feeling of worthlessness because I wasn’t working. Forget the supermarket. I would panic just thinking about going there.
This happened five years ago. I don’t remember how I got my brain back. I think I kept pushing myself a little more each day, venturing outside, sticking out a toe, then a foot, then a leg.
I hope you found your way back or are finding your way back a little each day.
Lauren – Thank you so much for sharing your own experience. It helps to know I’m not alone with my own experience of this crazy thing. I am doing much better. I’m trying various things including drugs which have helped tremendously with the anxiety and now I’m dealing with the agoraphobia by forcing myself to get outside and do stuff. It’s either agoraphobia or just plain laziness. I’ve also completely changed my diet and started exercising, so it’s been a 12 pronged attack. So nice to hear from you!
I’m glad you’re doing better. My husband used to get panic attacks. I think he takes Paxil or Zoloft. He used to describe his panic attacks as “hanging onto a cliff by his fingernails.” It’s crippling!
Exercise is good for what ails you. I’m glad you’re using a 12 pronged attack to fight the beast. Smart!
I almost started crying while reading your post. I could have written it and my experience was very near the same time as yours as well! I have lived with depression, mostly off and on, for most of my life and I have experienced panic and anxiety for which I have relied on Xanax for many years, but this? I had NO IDEA what this was and, what was worse, I’d told so many people that I understood their depression in the past and now realized that maybe I did and maybe I didn’t because, although I had most certainly experienced depression, it didn’t come close to the “I can’t actually put on makeup to go to work because I know that after that I can’t go to the bathroom and fix my hair and, after that, I cannot get dressed and after all of that, I cannot walk out the door because I cannot actually move from this space. I don’t think I capable of doing ANYTHING at all right now.” I could cry, I could pace, I could call the doctor’s office and I could read the internet. It was physically painful. After reading everything, I decided that I would beg them for shock therapy. I had never, ever in my whole life felt this bad and this out of control. I thought there was no possible way it could be worse so I must need the most drastic therapy available. It’s even harder to understand because I am happy. I know – it doesn’t make sense – AT ALL! My doctor told me to double my dose of Pristiq – “What?!! I’m completely falling apart here – I have to get off this stuff – it’s making it all worse!!” Strange thing, it turned out that he was right. 100mg of Pristiq daily – I can’t even miss one day or I can feel myself start to slip. Xanax for the breakthrough panic. Without the support of the people who love me, I don’t know what I would do because this makes me feel weak. I am normally a go, go, go woman and the list of things I can and have done is long. I have worked full time my whole life and for the last 10 years or so I’ve added making soap and greeting cards to sell and remodeling homes with my husband. There is little down time. I took a week off of work for my “breakdown” and although things are better now, I live with the fear of it happening again. I feel like it’s so hard to make people understand the hell you go through and how angry and scared you are to be going through it. Then you return to work and are, as you already guessed, not paid sick time because they can’t see mental issues – they don’t show up on x-rays or in bloodtests. I was happy to read your account of what you went through and it made me feel better to know that I am SO not alone (many, many commenters as well have experienced this strange and scary nightmare) although I wish NONE of US had to ever go through this. I’m glad I stumbled on your blog! 🙂
P.S. I usually DO write with humor, which is part of the reason I said I could have written what you did but I certainly didn’t show that here, did I?! The other part was that you wrote EXACTLY how I felt which seemed SO hard to describe when I was in it and most needed help. Thanks for putting it into words SO WELL Margaret!!
OMG Elizabeth! How horrible your experience must have been – and I’m so glad if anything I said helped in anyway make you feel less alone! This type of thing can just make you feel so helpless. I’m happy to say that I am doing better – you know, that whole “better living through chemistry” thing. Thank you SO much for your honesty and your comments and I apologize for responding so late to your comment!
Also, how on earth did you stumble onto my blog?
Also, I hope you have a very happy day today.
XOXO
The first panic attack/onset of anxiety is the worst. Slowly you’ll get used to it and you will know how to control it. I lived with it for two years (it was a horrible two years in which I felt like a hermit). I was on meds for 6 months and then decided drugs were not going to make me better. I went to hypnotherapy which worked miracles, I started eating healthy, and started practicing stress relief techniques. All that plus personal religious beliefs got me through and now I can say I’ve been panic free for two years. Occasionally I still get anxiety when I”m under a lot of pressure/stress but it’s not even close the the panic I used to get.
I too thought it was my horomones, my heart, my brain, my nervous system geez I kind of became a hypochondriac. Doctors made me feel like I was crazy etc. Anyhow, I suggest going the “natural” way. Drink herbal teas. Passion flower tea as well as Valerian Root tea(smells like stinky feet) but it helped me a lot. Try eating healthy. Stay away from CAFFEINE (chocolate, coffee, sodas etc). That was the one thing doctors told me to cut out. Cutting out sugar completely also helped. In addition hypotherapy was my salvation believe it or not! Hope I helped. Hope you get better soon as I know how draining it can be to have anxiety. Both on oneself and family. Take it easy and remember you are not crazy no matter how much people (esp doctors)will make you feel you are. It’s just how anxiety works. It’s just your flight or fight response is off wack and it needs some readjusting. That’s it. Good luck!!!
Thank you so much, Vina, for your wonderful words of encouragement. I actually tried Passion Flower tea the very first thing but that was only at the beginning when the anxiety was so high I thought I’d explode so it may or may not have helped a little. I did immediately change my diet, however. I’ve cut out all the sugar and simple carbs (white flour, etc.). I also cut out the soda and have cut way back on coffee. I find your experience very interesting and helpful for me and I still have a ways to go. I’d like to eventually go drug free and incorporate all the natural remedies, but right now I’m in the middle of waiting for the lexapro to take full effect and go from there. I’m also practicing a relaxation technique I learned way back in college.
Anyway, I really appreciate your comments and your story and thank you for the reminder that I’m not crazy. I’m very happy to hear that you yourself are virtually anxiety free – that’s awesome. I will get there someday. 🙂
Recurrent panic attacks are one of the most traumatic experiences human beings have to deal with so it is commendable how your can describe your own challenges with such honesty and humor.
At the risk of sounding starchy and formal, I’ll briefly put my clinical psychologist’s hat on and recommend cognitive behavioral therapy, a talking intervention with, overall, the best research outcomes for this type of problem.
I wish you a speedy recovery.
Thank you, Gary, for your comments and suggestions. They are both very much appreciated. 🙂
Ah, Margaret…. hope you’re soon able to return to some semblance of normal soon. As Dana said, you are not alone! I manage my anxiety with meds, meditation, activity and reaching out to others. When I start isolating I know I’ve veered from healthy living and it’s time to get back on track. Please know I’m thinking of you and sending virtual hugs!
Thank you so much, Boom Boom!! That really means a lot! So many hugs back at ya!
Hey Margaret, I was gonna say what Dana said above and offer you a copy of the meditation cd I listen too. I’m happy to make you a copy. Email me if you want one.
And, well, welcome to the club– I hate to say it, but reading all your comments to this post, we are clearly not alone. Meds, therapy and meditation work wonders for me. The trick is getting the right Rx combination which is why if you can find a psychiatrist who also does therapy (vs one who just writes an Rx and sends you on your way), you’ll start feeling better sooner than later. It may take a while for an anti-depressant to kick in but you can also take a Xanax (which only stays in your system for 4-5 hours) to help take the edge off if that’s okay with your doctor.
And… No childhood trauma issues and menopause is in my rear view mirror. Sometimes life just piles up even when everything seems great. So take it easy on yourself, stay close to loved one with tissues, breathe, and follow-up with your doctor. I’m cheering you on and here to help any way I can.
xoxo jj
Joanna – THANK YOU for your encouraging words. It is good to now I’m not alone and how awful that so many people suffer with this. And in silence! I had no idea so may people experienced it. And I swear if I ever get back down to L.A…… 🙂
Hi Margaret, Indigo posted this and I just read it. I had my first panic attack 3 years ago and so I know how horrible they are. I remember thinking I was dying. I was so convinced. Thank you for sharing your experience. There will be many people, like us, that will take some comfort in knowing we are not alone and we are not going mad and we are “normal”. Hugs xxx
Thank you so much for saying that, Gabrielle! It really does help to know I’m not alone in this. And that I’m not crazy. And that I’m not dying. And that I’m not a bunch of other things. Many hugs to you back!! And bless that Indigo!
I’m glad to see that you’re writing about this. Keep writing. It’s going to make a book that only you could write in your make-even-the-worst-shit funny way. As for Lexapro, it’s an anti-depressant, not anti-anxiety. Xanax is the “Calgon” of anti-anxiety drugs. And yes, you can still drink wine while taking Lexapro. I’ve been sucking them both back for years and look how well-adjusted I am. 🙂
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I love you, my sweet friend. If you don’t feel like leaving the house you can still Skype. I’m here if you want to connect. Any time.
Big hugs.
Thank you, Jayne. I’ve wondered about that whole anti-depressant vs. anti-anxiety, but I keep reading Lexapro and other SSRIs are prescribed for anxiety. And I believe Xanax is meant only for short-term. Whatever. This journey isn’t over yet, and yeah, maybe a good book will come out of it. Thank you for your support and love, my dear!
When I was in my early 40’s, I started having panic attacks. I didn’t know they were panic attacks though. I would be at lunch, and get a weird “I can’t breathe or swallow” thing. I think I dropped about 20 pounds. I just couldn’t eat. I could drink though. It eventually eased up, but I still have those horrid “Oh shit! I can’t breathe or swallow sensations sometimes. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I don’t know what causes anxiety or panic, but damn! Miserable stuff. The right drugs should help but they take a while to kick in.
Ah yes, I’m familiar with the panic attack diet, I’ve already lost a few pounds, partly because I’ve also changed my diet and tried to exercise more back when I read it helps with perimenopause, but I don’t know if that’s causing it. Nevertheless, it’s a healthier way to eat, I suppose. And yeah, I’m still waiting for the right drugs to kick in, but I am a little better and keep hoping for more better.
Haha, you were probably getting panic attacks because your body was on alert mode trying to get you to NOT purchase all that unhealthy ice cream!
I had one anxiety attack that I know of for sure… It was after I first broke my back and I was heading back to the hospital months later by myself to get yet another scan. I went into the parking structure to park…and flipped right the heck out. Similar to your situation? Mmmm… Let’s see… Isles… The fact that you are there to get something done… Focusing… I think it was that I knew that after I got done they were going to stick me in a tube for a hour or more… We’re you ever stuck in a tube for an hour or more after a trip to the grocery store? 😉
Anyhoo… Yeah… And then I tried a bunch of ADs only to find out years later that “anxious” to a doctor means something different than it does to me. I think what I meant was I was occasionally worried which got me down. So they hear “anxious” and basically give me a bunch of “downer” class meds for years. Until I got back to the doctor that I have now. Turns out I needed an “upper” sort. Soooo…that was about 4 years of getting downers while being down. Superb. I’ve been on Wellbutrin for a while now and it’s been really good. I recently tried a month without it and…it wasn’t so good. Back on it and feeling better again. 🙂
It’s nice to note that society is finally (for the most part?) comfortable with talking about this stuff. I would have to say that a good number of my guy friends are taking something and we swap stories. I remember when before Prozac Nation came out how it was a taboo thing and if you heard someone was taking something you whispered about it. But even today there are still those cave dwellers who talk about how nobody used to take them and blah blah blah. Well, they used to chop people’s heads off a lot and light people on fire quite a bit too. But…whatever… 😉
Hope you are feeling better! 🙂
Thank you, Brian, and for sharing your story. I think it’s still something not a lot of people will talk about, especially men. So if me doing this helps the conversation, all the better. I’m glad you got onto the right treatment even if it meant going through so much awfulness first. 🙂 And I wish you continued better health.
I was just thinking… Am I like the only guy here or what? 😉 Yes, especially in light of Robin Williams’ death, there certainly needs to be more dialog and understanding about mental issues many face. Thank you for your story! 🙂
Sending you love, Margaret… lots and lots of love, which doesn’t help much, I know, but writing it down, getting it out, putting it on your blog… well, that helps others more than you’ll ever know! Thanks for sending this out into the world!
Thank you, Jan. Of course this reminds me of how we talked about this very thing, writing being a healing thing. Thank you for your love and support!!
Margaret, my daughter sent this to me because I suffered from anxiety several years ago. I couldn’t get on an airplane or ride in a car without fortifying myself with alcohol, I couldn’t go anywhere without knowing where every hospital, urgent care facility or fire department was along the way. I stumbled on a book by a woman who actually treated patients by phone and radio who lived in the outback. It said that the worst that has happened to you is the worst that will happen (I used that as my mantra) and gave me many other tricks to use. I’m anxiety free except for the rare occasion which I can now easily control. Find yourself a good self treatment book and get off the drugs and unsatisfactory ER visits. It’ll take a few weeks but you can overcome this.
Thank you so much for your comment, Connie, and for sharing your own story! It helps to know I’m not alone. My ultimate goal after calming the frick down, is to figure out an exit strategy and looks for solutions that don’t involve drugs. Thanks for the encouragement!
Ugh, I’m so sorry about the anxiety attacks. May there be tubs and tubs of phish food in your near future. Great blog by the way!
Aw, thank you, Paige! I appreciate the well wishes and the hopes for tubs of fishes!
<3
<3 <3 backatcha
wouldn’t wish this on anyone, been having panic attacks for years and finally gave up trying to figure out the whys. Therefore, ativan is my bff. best wishes.
Oh, Joanne. I’m sorry there is no easy answer for you. I’m not giving up. At least not yet. God, I hope I figure this out.
🙂
🙂 🙂
My God, Margaret, that sounds like a nightmare but one you can’t wake up from. I can just imagine being overcome by something you have no control over. Wow. But I’m glad you finally were able to get treated for it. I hope everything settles down and returns to normal soon.
Thank you, Dufus. Getting support and encouragement from everyone has helped immensely. But mostly, it’s the drugs. 🙂
That sounds absolutely awful. I’m so glad you’ve found some relief, and I hope you can find the root cause!
Me too, Leigh Ann! I have got to figure out how much of this is chemicals getting wonky in my brain vs. psychological. So far, still a mystery.
Oh jeez. Hang in there – glad the meds are helping. I went through period of time where I was waking every morning to anxiety/panic. I went to a therapist weekly for a while and it helped a lot. It all seemed so common sense after we talked but sometimes we just need a guiding hand to help us see what’s going on and resolve it. I wonder if you should have your thyroid checked too…?
Be well! Wishing you a quick recovery.
Thyroid was checked. As was estrogen and progesterone levels and they say they were normal. I will soon be strapped with a heart monitor for a while too. It’s going to be an adventure.
Oh dear lord, what an awful situation, Margaret! Keep up the fight. Your friends are everywhere – feel free to lean on me. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best!
Thank you so much, Andrea! That means a lot. 🙂
I’m so sorry you’re going through such an awful time. I suffer from severe panic attacks also, but I’m fortunate (I guess!) that mine come from predictable causes like health scares or job layoffs. They are really awful, but then a few encouraging words from a doctor or a new job offer will shut them off like a faucet. It would be so much worse to have them for no particular reason. I hope they get to the bottom of this and get it solved for you.
Thank you, Adrian. How awful to hear that you go through similar situations. They suck! I hope you stay panic attack-free forever!
So sorry you’ve had to go through this. I hope your journey to figure it all out is swift and easy.
Thank you, Barbara. I do too!!!!
Oh, I have been worried about you my friend. I have had several panic attacks in the past year or so, and they are like nothing I have ever experienced before. I hope this is the last of it for you. xoxo
Oh, Sherri, I’m sorry to hear you’ve gone through those too. Aren’t they just the worst? I hope yours are gone forever as well, my friend.
My heart was literally racing reading this. I’ve been dealing with similar issues of late which had only gotten horribly worse. Thank goodness for awesome, wonderfully patient husbands to stand guard and gently push to the help we need. The lexapro is starting to help for me too and doc added an anti anxiety med as needed because in two weeks there will be flying and traveling in Texas and traveling anywhere in a car sometimes is impossible.
Oh my goodness, Laura, how awful that we are in this same boat. I wish you a very anxiety-free trip, my dear. HUGS!!!!
You mean Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food isn’t a cure for anxiety??!? Oh, I am devastated! hehe All kidding aside, anxiety and panic attacks must be very scary, but I am thankful your meds are helping. I hope they find out what’s going on. I suppose it could be a simple chemical imbalance in the brain; hopefully nothing more serious than that. Thanks for sharing a deeply personal story. We’re all rooting for you. 🙂
Thank you Karen. Something about the topic compelled me to share. I got the feeling not a lot of people do talk about it and it helps to know you’re not alone.
Holy Wowie, Margaret! I’m glad you are getting some relief but hopeful that more relief comes soon. Maybe you are allergic to goats?
Sigh.
If only it were a matter of allergies to goats. I suspect it would take less time than it is now to get better. 🙂
Hi Margaret, you describe it in a very harrowing manner, so I can only imagine what it must have been like to actually experience it. I’m so happy you’re mending, but as you say, it’d be nice to understand the problem. Keep at it, we’re all here for you. Hugs, Indigo x
Thanks, Indigo. It’s actually hard to describe the feeling. But I really appreciate your X’s and O’s. 🙂
I am very sorry for your anxiety. It must be horrible. I would be happy to send you a baby goat – we now have three. There is something very calming about baby goats. At least when they are sleeping. All bets are off when they wake up….
I send you lots of goat hugs and hope you figure it out. I don’t like my friends to not feel well.
I bet a baby goat would do wonders! I wish our landlord allowed pets! 🙂 Thank you for the hugs!!!
I had HORRIBLE panic attacks in my mid-twenties. Here is what helped:
1. Start saying NO to everything except taking care of yourself.
2. Read this book: Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Clare Weekes
3. See a therapist…but it make take a few “dates” with one to find someone you click with.
4. Exercise and eat right. I know, but it works.
5. Meditate – Any of these meditations will help. You’ll have to pay some $$ for the audios but BELIEVE ME, it’s better than medication!!! https://chopracentermeditation.com
6. Keep doing what you’re doing, meaning write about it. Not only is it amazingly therapeutic for you but you’ll help other people you don’t even know who are suffering like you are right now.
7. Do something that makes you laugh, every day. Here’s a show you should watch because it WILL make you laugh since it is the funniest program on TV right now: http://www.trutv.com/shows/impractical-jokers/index.html
8. Tell yourself that you are NORMAL and that you are going to be OKAY!
9. DO NOT…and I repeat…DO NOT WATCH ANY FORM OF THE NEWS. STAY AWAY FROM IT LIKE THE PLAGUE.
10. Keep a gratitude journal and ONLY read or watch positive things.
There is no one thing that will help you. I went on medication back in 1990 and am still trying to get off of it (Paxil). It is a life long management program you will need at this point but I want you to realize you are NOT alone. Thank you for being so brave to write about it. You are going to be fine. 🙂
Oh my gosh, Dana! Thank you so much for taking the time to share all this. All good good advice! You are the best and I love you!