I have a dear friend named Suzy - 26 years ago she lost her son P.J. in an accident. He was her only child, and with him she lost her only family (and future family). He was the only one to call her "Mom" and when he was gone, so was her chance at ever being a Grandma. It's been heartbreaking for my sweet friend, Suzy.
I met this sweet lady two years after I lost my own little girl, Katelyn. Suzy came at a crucial time in my healing process. Her friendship was a gift, and just what I needed to help me through some hard stages in my grief. She and I had a special connection right from the start. She understood my language. She was a "safe place" with whom I could share all my painful mixed up emotions, never to be judged, and always to be understood. Without reservation, Suzy took me for who I was and where I was at, and she validated my grief. She was honest. She was real. She believed in me. And through her positive example she taught me that "broken crayons still color beautifully." I am thankful she found me and was willing to share her broken heart (and broken crayons) with me - by doing so she helped me to heal. I am forever grateful for her. I'll treasure her friendship always.
Today, I stopped by with my little girls to see Suzy and she surprised me with a gift. From a shelf in her garage she pulled down a tiny rocking chair that belonged to her son when he was just a little tyke. It still has its original paint and music box which plays a sweet song as it rocks. Kiersti, my three year old, was delighted at the sight of it. As she sat and rocked in this musical chair, my friend smiled and remembered her son. She told me a beautiful story of how his great-grandpa (an amputee) walked the difficult trip downtown to buy this sweet little chair and brought it back for his great-grandson. P.J. loved it so much, he spent hours just rocking back and forth, listening to the whimsical tune of Brahm's Lullaby. He had long outgrown it by the time he passed away at age 13.
Although cherished and loved, this little chair sat alone and empty for many years, then moved to a shelf where it collected dust until today, when Suzy got it down for me (and Kiersti.) I couldn't believe it. It didn't seem right to accept such a gift. I didn't want to take it from her, but she was insistent that I keep it. How this touched my heart.
I don't know what possessed her to give that little chair to me. Maybe she doesn't have anyone else to pass it down to. Or maybe it's because she loves me, and considers me a "kindred spirit" (as she puts it - and I believe it.) Then again, maybe she wanted someone to have it who truly understands the pain an empty chair brings to a mother's heart. Or perhaps by giving this chair to us, she knew her boy P.J. would live on in someone's heart and memory even after she is gone.
Whatever her reason, my heart is full tonight, and my eyes are wet. This beautiful antique chair now sits in my living room, next to the fireplace. Strangely enough, it seems this little spot has been waiting for this very thing. I also find it perfect that P.J.'s chair sits right next to the end table with pictures of Kate. It all touches my heart in a way I can't explain. This little gift means the world to me, because of everything and everyone it represents. Things such as this little chair are truly treasures of the heart. I feel so blessed and honored to have it in my home. I feel even more blessed and honored to have Suzy as my friend, and I thank my Father in Heaven for sending her to me.
I hope I can be the friend to her, that she has been to me.
I love you, Suz! Thanks for being there!
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