1. We get to wear shorts. Shorts are like a wind tunnel for your balls. This is a godsend in the hottest months.
2. Women are closer to naked. Yes, I'm aware this sounds skeezy, but women in tank tops and short jorts are hot and that's just science.
3. Grilling all day, every day. FACT: You can grill every major food group. No joke, I once did nothing but grill for, like, a whole month. Grilling is the best way to cook anything, and if you disagree with me I'll grill your face. (Side note: Do not try to drag your grill inside and grill indoors just because it is raining, you will die.)
4. We can drink beer as soon as we start grilling, which is usually around 11 a.m. In the summer, it becomes socially acceptable to start drinking at 11 a.m., especially if you're grilling. There's nothing quite like being able to roll out of bed, fire up the grill, crack open your favorite summer beer, and not have anyone get up in your face about your borderline drinking problem.
5. We can spend all Saturday playing Wiffle Ball at the park and drunkenly chasing kids off the field. Summertime means softball leagues, pick-up football games, and beach volleyball dominate our weekends. Plus, you can do these while drinking beer. Hell, you can toss a ball around while you wait for your burgers to finish on the grill. Everything just makes sense.
6. We KNOW we look really good in sunglasses. Sunglasses are the closest thing guys have to jewelry. No man has ever felt insecure in sunglasses. Fact.
7. Mesh becomes (almost) socially acceptable. Lax pinnies and gym shorts can alllmoooosssttt pass at your girlfriend's sister's baby shower in the summer. If we're just at the beach or grilling, wearing mesh means we're basically naked but no one will call the police. We know we look like tools, and we don't care. When it's 100 degrees, mesh is our best friend.
8. We get to build fire pits. Men love fire, and during brisk summer nights, we have an excuse to erect giant wooden monuments to our favorite element, and use flint and tinder and all that manly shit. Plus it's just nice to sit around a fire pit at night, I guess.
9. We can wear flip-flops. The shoes that are even easier to put on. We don't care what you think of our toe knuckle hair. We're too busy vibin' on summer.
10. We can nap in hammocks. Have you ever taken a nap in a hammock? Why would you ever take a nap in anything else?
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