Despite getting to wear conventionally garish bikinis for the swimwear round in the preliminaries (pictured above), tonight's top 20 Miss USA contestants paraded in swimsuits that looked more like the support bras your mom bought you when she hadn't come to terms with the concept of you wearing "sexy" lingerie:
Don't get me wrong though; these are Miss USA contestants, so they can make it work. Case in point, this twirl:
And this contestant, who the voiceover lady said looked just like Angelina Jolie ...
Do you see it? (I don't.) Anyway, here's some more matronly swimsuit glamour:
And lastly, you think Miss Tennessee is giving a sexy pout but actually she's just farting a little. You know, the bubbles:
Yes, it's a major beauty pageant and we're still being that crass.
Photo credit: Stacy Revere / Getty Images
