I first heard about a woman named Angel when a friend forwarded me a World Star Hip Hop link. The headline, "Fellatio Secrets: Auntie Showing Ladies How to Service a D*ck Proper! (Sound Effects & All)," did little to prep me for what was ahead: 20 minutes of Auntie Angel explaining, in her mellifluous and steady voice, how to perform the perfect blow job.
Angel's video was different from other blow job tutorials. It was generous and actually useful. She made sounds I'd never heard before. Her saliva flow inspired awe. "How do I get a private demonstration from auntie!!!!????," someone commented on the video. "Im ready to put a ring on it."
Who was Angel and how did she get to be so damn good at giving blow jobs? I needed to find out, so I tracked her down. Angel is also known as Denise Walker, 43, a Chicago-based Army veteran, nail technician, founder of Angel's Erotic Solutions, and fellatio educator (see her lesson on The Grapefruit Technique). She told me about how she got interested in sex education, her cult following, and, of course, how to give the perfect blow job.
I've always been comfortable talking about sex. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was raped when I was younger. I blamed myself for a while, but at a certain point, I took control of my own body. Sex was a way for me to be free.
Oddly enough, my first experience giving a blow job didn't happen until I was 27. I was dating someone who asked me outright to give him a blow job. The problem was that I had never done it before. To be honest, I didn't think people actually had to give blow jobs. I had no idea what to do, but I wanted to make my man happy, so I researched it — watched movies, read books, practiced.
The first time I went down on him was uneventful. As in, nothing happened. He didn't even get hard. I was really disappointed. I asked him what I could do better but all he said was, "Do what you do." Men aren't the best communicators.
I went back to the drawing board. To try and get a response from him, I went crazy. I made noises. It was like I was having an out-of-body experience. He realized how much of an effort I was making and he opened up, telling me what he liked and didn't like. I realized then that the key to any relationship is communication.
I also realized that it doesn't take much to stimulate a man. You don't have to do a lot of work, you don't have to jack, jack, jack your hand all day. You just have to understand his anatomy. Number one is the frenulum, number two is the head, number three is the corona, and number four are the balls.
Once I figured out the anatomy part, the orgasms became so much easier for him to achieve — like, five minutes or less. I started telling my friends and they were amazed. They asked me to teach them, so I got a dildo and put together some classes. That was about 10 years ago. Since then, I've taught women of all ethnicities, religions, classes. I've taught NBA players' wives, Real Housewives, and millions of other people through the Internet.
People have told me that men started stalking them because of the blow jobs. I've heard about a man who died while receiving a blow job from a woman who took my class. By the way, I'm not responsible for the death of your mate; you suck at your own risk.
I charge $750 for classes for up to 20 ladies. That's less than $40 a person. Women spend $50 on a pair of shoes. Fellatio is the gift that keeps on giving. Once you learn it, you're never going to lose it. It's an investment in your relationship and your energy.
The single biggest thing I teach is confidence. A lot of women aren't confident about giving blow jobs. Once they achieve what they set out to do, the confidence level goes up. He's happy because you're giving blow jobs all the time. You're happy because it doesn't take forever and your mouth isn't tired. Your relationship gets better because you're able to communicate with each other sexually. You become more confident. Anyone can be an amazing connoisseur in the act of fellatio.
Here, I'll impart some of my knowledge:
Don't let the penis get bored.
Most women do the same thing over and over when they're giving blow jobs, but a man's penis has memory. It's a muscle. A man can figure out your next move if you've been together enough. You have to trick the penis. Don't let him anticipate what's going to happen.
Your three fellatio must-haves: sound effects, saliva, and hand motions.
As I built my business, I asked men about what they liked. The things they most definitely wanted were sound effects, saliva, and hand motions. They want to hear you enjoying them. It's not a silent movie. I make exaggerated sound effects, which not all women like to do, but definitely don't be quiet. With saliva, the wetter the better. And the hands are amazing because they're like an extension of your mouth. You can manipulate the testicles while you're sucking, you can suck the testicles and jack the head of his penis, your hand can move all over his penis and do different things.
But the most important part is lubrication.
Gagging helps with this. A lot of women are scared to gag but it produces more saliva. So, don't give a blow job on a full stomach, and use your hands. If he's really big, you can keep your mouth on the head and the frenulum — nibble, suck, spit, all those things — while your hand does the other work.
Open up a dialogue with your partner.
Women second-guess everything. We're not sure if we're doing it right, going too fast or too slow, and men aren't really telling us. But if you're talking about it, you can stop overthinking alone. Try to figure it out together.
It's important to get yours too.
In every class, I teach women how to get great head from their mates too. When my students go home and give amazing blow jobs, their mates might be intimidated. That's when the women need to explain exactly what they want. You just have to let him know. You're being pleased, he's being pleased. Just communicate!
Photo Credit: Denise Walker
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Helin Jung is a writer and editor based in Los Angeles. She was formerly the executive lifestyle editor of Cosmopolitan.com.
