1. Expectation: People are going to behave themselves and everyone is going to have a great time!
Reality: It will be fine for like an hour but then someone will get too drunk and start embarrassing themselves. Then someone else will throw up. If you're lucky, that someone won't be you. (But let's be real … It totally might be.)

2. Expectation: You're going to go for like an hour and then go home and read or clean or something. BBQs are so exhausting, you know?
Reality: You will spend your entire life at this BBQ. You will grow old and wizened. By the time you leave, you will have cultivated a Gandalf beard and your belly will be straining against the adorable top you bought for this thing because you ate more than any reasonable being could or (more importantly) should eat.

3. Expectation: You can wear something really cute and it will be fine.
Reality: Silk, meet ketchup. I bet you guys are going to get along great!

4. Expectation: Music!
Reality: A shitty boom box from 1998 that produces the most annoying feedback. Also: Chumbawamba! All afternoon long! Stop it! I can't thump this tub anymore! I just can't!

5. Expectation: You'll wow everyone with the delicious marinaded meat you bring to be grilled. The recipe has 15 ingredients and it will turn your meat into the most delicious thing anyone has ever eaten. People will weep at this piece of steak/chicken/tofu you brought.
Reality: Your kitchen is a mess and the marinade is awful. You dump some Masterpiece Sauce on that shit and hope it tastes fine.

6. Expectation: It will be great to be outside! :D
Reality: You're outside! :(

7. Expectation: Your friend will have real food because you are now grown-ups.
Reality: The fuck is this chips and dip shit they put out? What main courses are we to be enjoying with our Doritos, friend?

8. Expectation: You will not throw up.
Reality: You make it home before you throw up. This is the best case scenario. Just let it happen.

9. Expectation: You can drink as much as you want because you can get everything done tomorrow.
Reality: You will get nothing done tomorrow. You will nurse a hangover in bed and then order pizza. You will hate yourself for at least 30 minutes. (At least)

10. Expectation: You will have a good time.
Reality: You will have a fucking awesome time. What are you even talking about? HAVE YOU BEEN TO A BBQ BEFORE? THERE'S CORN! AND LIQUOR! (Usually.)

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