My first memory, as impossible as it seems, is of my brand
new baby brother being carried through the back door of our two-bedroom, white
house in Omaha. We moved out of that
house when I was entering the first grade and we forever after referred to that
house as “the White House.”
I could not believe my parents were bringing me – at two
years old – a real, live doll of my own to play with and care for and
love. Mom later told me she would wake
up in the morning to find me in the new baby’s crib playing “mom.” I fed him, held him and played with him for
hours on end.
This was Other Brother’s arrival into the world, not
Robert’s.
Robert arrived a few years later and even though I was five
years old at the time and probably should remember another new bundle of joy
being brought into the house, I have no recollection of it in the least. Robert’s entrance into the world was
memorable for Mom, however – he broke her tailbone. The doctor also actually used forceps to help deliver
Robert (yeah, I can’t believe that is an actual tool sometimes used during
childbirth).
Robert literally came into the world kicking and screaming. (I’m
pretty sure Mom was too).
Ever since finding out how traumatic Robert’s birth must
have been, I wondered if that somehow
contributed (or caused) his epilepsy.
Despite this rocky start and subsequent years of our young
parents doing their best even while they battled depression, Bipolar disorder, substance
abuse and Robert’s epilepsy, I remember a happy childhood.
Much of that was because of these two guys.
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| A goofy moment between brothers |
Maybe it was because of everything happening in our
household that Other Brother and I forged a strong bond that remains to this
day. I wasn’t always close to Robert but that changed once I took over his
care.
I know that Other Brother is someone I can count on for
support not only for me but also for Robert.
I know that when the three of us are together there is laughter and love
and an appreciation of our time together.
We don’t really know what the future holds for Robert, particularly with
his decline and increased seizures, but we don’t dwell on that when we’re together.
(We might joke about it with each other
in a sick, morbid humor kind of way but definitely don’t dwell on it.)
We have never really known what the future held for Robert
but this uncertainty (and the chaos of a crazy family) taught us to enjoy what
we have right now and not to take ourselves too very seriously.
I cherish the laughter and joking and love when the three of
us are together and know that this strong bond was borne out of adversity
(including epilepsy). I also know that it remains even when we are not in the
same room together.
My wish for everyone with epilepsy is that they have family
or friends that are just as supportive and who will always be there for
them. Adversity is best traveled
together and I am fortunate to have my two brothers always by my side.
Other Brother and Robert aren’t known for their sap and
mushy ways (they leave that to me, obviously) but I think I detected a “moment”
between them during the interview.
Maybe my sappy ways are rubbing off on them!
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