all squared up: Food pics and food picks

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Food pics and food picks

There is nothing worse than a person who talks about all the stuff they can't eat. They're not fun people to be around, especially when everyone's eating. Did you ever see that old episode of Saturday Night Live of the Whiners? "We can't eat that, we've got di-ver-tic-u-li-tis, we can only eat macaroni and cheese."

One of my goals in life is to not ever become Mrs. Whiner. But another equally important goal in life is to feel good. Namely to not wake up with a spine that is all cramped up and fingers that look like sausages. The list of foods that do this to me is long and I certainly don't want to bore you with it. But, in my attempts to not wake up in the shape of a sea horse with puffy appendages, I've tried some different ways of eating.

One of the most successful diets for me has been eating raw vegan. It's expensive, it's a lot of hard work, the raw vegan community is full of nut jobs and eventually you start craving entire chocolate cakes. But while I'm eating raw and spending the money and chopping the fruit and being annoyed with the nut job raw vegan community on social media and before I start craving entire chocolate cakes, I feel fabulous. I wake up with a spring in my step and my wedding ring is practically falling off my finger.

But there is that money thing. And the issue with the nut job chick with the icky long hair and her ongoing feud with the raw foodist known as Banana Girl and all the drama behind these people who eat nothing but raw food. I can't believe I'm typing this, but personally I don't think they're getting enough protein. (Kidding, just kidding.) And then there is all that chopping, the food chopping that is. And washing and soaking and chopping and washing. Excuse me, I'm whining and I promised not to.

What is a puffy person to do? Keep looking until they find something that works, and that's what happened. I stumbled upon a way of eating that is so completely not nut job, or at least it isn't to me. It is vegan if you want it to be, which I do. It's raw if you want it to be, which I don't. It's strict if you want it to be, which sometimes works for me and sometimes doesn't.

The first two weeks I went on this eating plan I dropped seven pounds like it was butter falling off a hot roll. I have kept up my coffee habit, but most mornings I toss half out, not feeling the need to chug down the rest. Best of all, we don't need a new mattress, I don't wake up with my back locked up in pain. What am I doing with my Whine-Free Mornings? Making Glowing Green Smoothies from Kimberly Snyder's The Beauty Detox Solution.