England’s second European exit in a week echoes its first
Crashing out of Europe disastrously? Who would have guessed
By R.J.E.
A COUNTRY reeling from a string of crises is seldom in the mood for a stinging blow to its national pride. But this is exactly what England must now endure. Four days after declaring themselves to have outgrown Europe, the English must now watch their national football team leave the 2016 Euros in infamy after losing to Iceland, the smallest nation ever to play in the tournament, in a shambolic 2-1 defeat in Nice on June 27th.
Some may call this a “double-Brexit”, but the graveness of the first contrasts with the risible absurdity of the second. The aftermath of Thursday’s referendum to leave the European Union, which has bequeathed to Britain political pandemonium, an economic nightmare and a spike in racist attacks, is no laughing matter. In that light, this other departure from Europe was a mix of catastrophe and dark comedy.
Nonetheless, parallels between the twin European exits abound. The England fans’ hubris ahead of the game against Iceland, promptly followed by total disaster, will feel familiar to many Remain voters. Once things began to go horribly wrong, it was clear that nobody had a plan to fix it. After the resignation of Roy Hodgson, the team’s manager, another revered British institution is a rudderless disgrace. The only thing missing from the analogy was an own goal from the captain.
How humiliating was England’s loss? Iceland has fewer inhabitants—just 323,000—than Leicester. Its population is smaller than Britain’s net migration intake last year. The managers of Iceland’s national football team, one of whom is also a part-time dentist, had about 14,000 people to choose from: that is the number of Icelandic adult males who are under the age of 35 and not overweight. Some 0.16% of that group are in the country’s 23-man tournament squad. England has over 42,000 football clubs; Iceland has 145, not one of which is professional.
Iceland has done spectacularly well to improve its standard of football in recent years. It has risen a hundred places in the FIFA rankings since 2012. State-of-the-art football pitches populate the country’s villages and schools. Incredibly, one in 500 Icelanders has high-end football coaching qualifications. The country has taken advantage of its access to the European single market by sending its best coaches for training in England. And, unlike their English opponents, Iceland’s players appeared to enjoy themselves on the pitch. The only Englishman who did not look petrified in the game’s closing stages was Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford, an 18-year-old who in time will surely succumb to the fear and trepidation already instilled in his teammates.
As England fans despaired, Iceland’s goals were cheered in the pubs of Brussels. “Brexit effect already?” tweeted Cecilia Malmstrom, the European Commission’s trade boss, minutes after the final whistle. Many will feel a kind of cosmic karma was at work. European fans have long argued that England’s perception of itself as a footballing powerhouse far outstrips its actual ability. At half-time, with their team losing, English commentators discussed who ought to be dropped for the quarter-final. The familiar procession of hype, entitlement, crushing disappointment and recrimination is once again nearing completion. It is not hard to find a metaphor here for the country’s current political landscape.
Before the match, footage emerged online of England fans gleefully chanting “we’re not in Europe anymore” on the streets of southern France. Their cry is now doubly true, after the country’s greatest footballing embarrassment since a 1-0 loss to the United States in the 1950 World Cup. That result 66 years ago came against a backdrop of post-war economic recovery. In the summer of 2016, this humiliation will feel to many like an escape from real-world doom and gloom: an utter shambles, but at least one the nation (and the world) can laugh about.
