In Grief: When Partners Are Mourning Separate Losses

If you want to support others you have to stay upright yourself.  ~ Peter Hoeg

A reader writes: I am at a loss with things right now and I really need some help. My partner's dad is dying and on the advice of his doctor he has been placed in hospice care. My mom passed 4 months ago today and I am still numb from that. I'm still not knowing how to handle my own grief, and now here I am with my partner and his family going thru this themselves.

Addiction and Substance Abuse in Grief: Suggested Resources

Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  ~ Robert Downey Jr.

Losing a loved one is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. Grief can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and deeply isolating. In an attempt to manage the emotional turmoil, some individuals turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to numb the pain, escape reality, or temporarily quiet their thoughts. While substances may provide short-term relief, they often complicate the healing process, leading to dependency, increased emotional distress, and even long-term mental and physical health consequences. Understanding why people use drugs or alcohol to cope with grief, the risks involved, and healthier alternatives for navigating loss is essential in finding a path toward true healing.

Coping with A Cancer Diagnosis: Anticipatory Grief in Caregiving

Understand there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, including anticipatory grief. It’s like the ocean. It ebbs and it flows. There can be moments of calm. But out of nowhere, it can feel like you’re drowning.  ~ Dana Arcuri

A reader writes: I am searching for an online support group for people and/or their loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer. Three months ago, my husband (54 years old) felt a mass in the left side of his abdomen. Through several different physician referrals it was determined that he had massive splenomegaly. His spleen was removed last month. The pathology report stated he has CLL ~ Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It is said to be stage 3. This week he will be having a bone marrow aspiration, to determine possible treatment options, if any.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 23 - April 5, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

The experience of dying a gradual death is an important, integral part of life. It is an opportunity to write our final chapter, to define the ending of our story. Writing Our Final Chapter More Meaningfully « Barbara Karnes, RN

Sadly, I frequently have families experiencing grief state some variation on the following: “Don’t play music, we might cry.” by Alan Wolfelt Educating Families about the Value of Music « AfterTalk

Health Class Student Asks How to Deal with Grief

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable, can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.  ~ Fred Rogers

A reader writes: I am a sophomore in high school and I am doing a big project on Grief and how to deal with it for my class in health. I was looking on the Internet and I came across your Grief Healing website. I really like it and all the information in it. I would really like to interview you if that is OK. I am sending a list of the 10 questions I would like to ask you.

In Grief: Death That Brings Relief

Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs.  ~ Leo Tolstoy

For those who endure chronic pain, terminal illness, or the slow decay of degenerative conditions, death can arrive not as a feared end but as a quiet release. It is the cessation of agony, the end of a long battle fought with dwindling strength.

For the grieving, death may bring relief in a different way. Watching a loved one suffer can be an unbearable burden, and though loss is painful, there is solace in knowing their suffering has ended. In such moments, death can be seen not as the villain but as a merciful hand, granting rest to those who have endured more than their share of hardship.

To help navigate the emotions and existential questions that may arise under such challenging circumstances, the following resources are suggested:

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 2 - March 22, 2025

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this month:

Grief can hit us in powerful and unanticipated ways. You might expect to grieve a person, a pet or even a former version of yourself – but many people are surprised by the depth of sad yearning they can feel after selling the childhood home. In fact, it is normal to grieve a place. And this grief can be especially profound if it coincides with a parent dying or moving into residential aged care, leading to the sale of their house. Why do I grieve my childhood home so much now we’ve sold it? And what can I do about it? « The Conversation

In Grief: Offering Survivor Support to Insurance Beneficiaries

Since the 17th century, insurance agents have been the foremost experts on risk.  ~ Charles Duhigg

An insurance representative writes: So nice having dinner with you the other night. I'm writing to thank you for sharing with me a copy of your book, Finding Your Way Through Grief: A Guide for the First Year. You may not believe this, but I read the entire book on the plane coming home Sunday. I found so many situations that I have seen in real life doing "Survivor Support" counseling, that I couldn't put the book down. I think it would be a most appropriate reading for 90% of my clients.

Here are some random thoughts in no particular order which I made notes about while reading:

In Grief: Trying to Forget Mum's Passing

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: It's been a week since the fifth anniversary of my Mum's passing. Since then, I have found that I'm trying to forget about it. Putting it to the back of my mind and hoping it doesn't appear in a conversation. Is that wrong? It’s also been six months since I visited the cemetery, but it's not because I find it hard to go there, I suppose I feel that it's not important to. Is that wrong?

Using Avoidance or Denial to Cope with Loss

Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

A reader writes: I feel extremely depressed. My father, who is my best friend and closest person to me, passed away. Ever since I was little, I was always afraid he'd be taken away from me; he and I were very close, and he was the best father any person could ask for. He's the type of father who'd drive you around town for hours when you needed some last minute item for your school project that's due the next day. He's the type of father who will buy your favorite foods and secretly put it in your fridge. He's the type of father who will drop everything to listen when you're having a problem. We hugged each other every day, and I always told him I loved him. Why did this happen? I must be such a horrible person to be punished in this way.