Timely advice: help children cope when tragedies become headlines

The world is obviously a different place than it was when parents of young children were growing up. In our society today, children are exposed daily to news about tragedies like natural disasters and violence throughout the world and sometimes even in our own backyards, as with the recent mass shootings. And with the advent of 24-hour news and access to social media, we often feel surrounded by bad news.   

This can be overwhelming for adults, and even more so for children, so helping children during these difficult times is vital.

Facilities like Fernside have worked with grieving children for decades. As the second-oldest center for grieving children in the country (and an affiliate of Hospice of Cincinnati), Fernside has helped countless children and families through very personal crises after family members die. And even though a child may not know anyone involved in a large-scale tragedy, they can still be affected by it.

Here is some advice that may help:

Talk to your child. Honor and support your child by talking to them about these difficult events. Know you can’t “fix” it for them; instead, allow them to express their thoughts and feelings. Validate and reassure them that their feelings are normal and that a lot of people are feeling the same. 

Explain in an age-appropriate way what happened. Encourage communication and be prepared to be open to their questions. Let their questions guide you to how much detail to share. Providing information can help a child make sense of what has happened.

Help your child express their thoughts and feelings. Each individual will react in their own way. Some will express their feelings more openly, while others might be quieter. There is no right or wrong reaction. Your child may experience a wide range of feelings depending on the impact the event has had on them. Expressing your own feelings can let your child know that it’s okay for them to express theirs. Encourage your child’s expression through a variety of mediums – art, journaling, exercise and music are all creative ways to express worries, fears and other feelings.

Find healthy ways to move beyond the tragedy. Take breaks from the news. It’s important to limit the amount of exposure your child has to hearing the same information over and over. Maintain their normal routine. Find ways to do something positive – get involved in a cause you care about or help others directly affected by the event. By taking action, you can help children see the good in people and how people can work through a tragic event together.

Take care of yourself. Don’t forget or neglect your own emotional health. Seek additional support for yourself if you begin to feel overly-stressed. If you need a reason to take care of yourself, know that a healthy parent will be in a better state of mind to support the emotional needs of their children.

Fernside, established in 1986, is the nation's second oldest children's grief center and remains a national leader in providing grief support services, outreach and education to the community and families. It is a non-profit organization offering support and advocacy to grieving families who have experienced a death. Fernside offers peer support for grieving families – children, teens and adults – and works to increase community awareness of grief issues through community outreach. An affiliate of Hospice of Cincinnati, Fernside services complement Hospice of Cincinnati's comprehensive bereavement program by addressing the unique needs of children.

All services at Fernside are provided free of charge with the help of generous donors. If you have a child who might benefit from Fernside services, go to http://fernside.org/ or call 513-246-9140.