In a mission to rescue hardware enthusiasts from the eternally fancy-pants and precious, Gadget Lab defiantly declares March to be the Month of Badass Gadgets. Four times a week, our tech-obsessed taste makers will present shining examples of aggressive, purpose-built product design — each imbued with an aesthetic subtext that approaches you with a face slap, puts you in a submission hold, and whispers coldly in your ear, “Fear me. Respect me. Honor my fearsome posture.”
Don’t be frightened. Cutlery like today’s example will share billing with more conventional hardware categories. And remember: These aren’t necessarily the best gadgets in the product sphere. These are simply the gadgets that exude industrial design overkill — and sometimes outright design belligerence.
We kick off March with an exceedingly sharp selection from Gadget Lab intern Nathan Hurst.
There aren’t many tools more obviously badass than a machete, and there aren’t many machetes more badass than the Southern Grind GrandDaddy. It jumped out at us from MacheteSpecialists.com‘s 240 machetes thanks to its bowie-style blade, which features a relatively thinnish tip for skinning animals and inducing terror. And if the tool’s shape itself isn’t enough to make you say, “Whoa, that’s a badass machete,” the dusky, 11-inch, reclaimed carbon steel blade — made in badass America, by the way — is ultra-sharp and durable.
While we didn’t get the chance to hack our way through the Amazon rain forest, we did give the $225 GrandDaddy a run through common produce (see video below). It balanced well in our hands, and the composite handle provided a secure grip. This is a substantial, heavy tool that makes it easy to pack power into a swing. The quick-release sheath straps to your leg, leaving you trolling for an excuse to snap out the GrandDaddy and say, “That’s not a knife….”
It’s a machete. It’s badass. It smells your fear.
