04 October 2012

Fabulous Fernie Rides to the Rescue


Dear Dr. Bones,

We have in the world ... lemme see ... (1) liars, (2) damn liars, (3) Mittius Coriolanus Pompo,


Fabulous Fernie Rides to the Rescue
(( ¡Help is on the way! ))

and, above all, (4) Senator Fehrnstrom of Fratbochusetts.

Fabulous Fernie has set himself up against the three cognate subclasses in a most remarkable way. Especially remarkable in a "respectable, cloth-coat Republican"ine, who will not gain from his capers personally at all. There is no self- profitability that Eye and Paddy can detect, anyway.

Top Romney Adviser: States Will Have To Cover People With Pre-Existing Conditions Under President Romney
Brian Beutler | October 3, 2012, 11:30 PM

After the first presidential debate at the University of Denver in Colorado on Wednesday night, one of Mitt Romney’s top advisers acknowledged that, as a result Romney’s plan to repeal Obamacare, people with pre-existing medical conditions would likely be unable to purchase insurance.

The admission directly contradicts the GOP candidate’s claim during the debate that “pre-existing conditions are covered under my plan” — a contention Romney has repeated on the trail and that his campaign has repeatedly walked back.

“With respect to pre-existing conditions, what Governor Romney has said is for those with continuous coverage, he would continue to make sure that they receive their coverage,” said Eric Fehrnstrom, referring to existing laws which require insurance companies to sell coverage to people who already have insurance, or within 90 days of losing their employer coverage.

Pressed by TPM’s Evan McMorris-Santoro, Fehrnstrom said those who currently lack coverage because they have pre-existing conditions would need their states to implement their own laws — like Romney’s own Massachusetts health care law — that ban insurance company from discriminating against sick people.

“We’d like to see states do what Massachusetts did,” Fehrnstrom said. “In Massachusetts we have a ban on pre-existing conditions.”

Romney’s plan, of course, became the model for Obamacare — a fact Obama happily reminded Romney and debate watchers Wednesday night.

Eye takes for granted that His Mass. Excellency, the Master of Seamus and Stepmaster to Miss Rafalca, will have been as surprised by this as eyeself am. Paddy, however, wonders whether the WhightGuard High Command might not be doing it on purpose, by ‘it’ meaning a general system in which Mittens proposes, but Fernie disposes. In the sense, at least, that a Fehrnstromoid version of "¡Jam tomorrow!" is much closer to what a cabal of baincappers installed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would actually send aloft to be shot down in Congress.

While canvassing exotic possibilities, perhaps one should consider the possibility, just for practice in the possibility-considering art, that H. M. E. is the one tellin’ us frankly what the Baintrust have in mind for their dupes an‘ their marks, with poor Fernie [1] commissioned only to tell a few ancillary fibs. Though that arrangement sounds fantastic, there would be a certain point to it. Our baincappin’ Betters would not be in power six months (¿six weeks?) before it looks like the Confidence Fairy, that fickle-wingèd lady, decides that on the whole she does NOT care to reside permanently in the White House basement, stalled next to Miss Rafalca. The non-backwater press would start piling on. At that juncture, to toss Fabulous Fernie off the back of the snowjobmobile might be quite sensible. Given a little preparation in advance, such as this present is hypothesized to be, the Abusers of America could just say (on a Wednesday), "No, what Senator Fehrnstrom told you all ’bout "¡Jam tomorrow!" was not whight. We really did mean "¡Jam starting Thursday!" all along. The first Thursday, that is, after House and Senate have passed the legislation, an’ His POTUSsal Magnificence has signed it."

The gimmick being, of course, that such passage is highly improbable. Coriolanus Pompo would announce in His Excellency’s accustomed Style that the bill He just handed over to the von Böhners und von Kantors und von McConnells includes "full coverage of patients with pre-existing conditions," with this language understood exactly the way the meanest intelligence would understand it. H. P. M. would omit to mention, naturally, that nobody would be more flabergasted than Himself, should anythin’ of the sort survive the Capitol Hill wreckin’ crew.

After the lieberal gesture dies in due an’ utterly anticipated course, when some bleedin’-heart whiner from the non-backwater media wants to know what happened, His Magnificence can simply take the line that after all He tried, ¿did He not? Plus optionally remark plaintively how much He wishes that everybooby would recognize that He is really not half as bad as somevolks (like for example Senator Fehrnstrom) have made Him out. In fact, Coriolanus Pompo would have achieved the whole badness that He original-intented as regards wardin’ off the Patient Protection menace, but at the same time look, to all but attentive students of neocomradology an’ the Classmates for whom He is doin’ concrete favors as promised, like Mr. Nice Guy struggling in vain with forces beyond merely human control.

As American D*cl*ne (Pat. Pend.) continues and accelerates, that will be a very attractive way to look. True, it is not entirely to be reconciled with boilerplate Republicanine barks an’ bellows ’bout Rugged Responsibility-Takin’ Individualism. RRTI made sense--sort of, ethics and criticism once safely trashbagged--on the upwards side of the


USA Trajectory 1776-2162
(( USA Trajectory 1776-2162 ))

national parabola, but now that we are slipping ever downwards, there is much to be said for "Well, ¡it’s certainly not MY fault!" The number of things that nobooby sane will care to take credit for is bound to grow and grow: that is what the word ‘d*cl*ne’ means.

Bein’ both a Cranbrook an’ a double-barrel H*rv*rd ’75, His Mass. Excellency is no doubt capable, on the mere I. Q. side, of foreseein’ American D*cl*ne (Pat. Pend.) an’ then takin’ appropriate measures of the sauve qui peut sort for Himself an’ for His Classmates. Also for Miss Rafalca, whom we may take as emblematic of a limited entourage of poor relations an’ clients an’ ol’ buddies surroundin’ the Serene House of Rombacare. Most of the hired-hand operatives would not, I suppose, make the cut in a crunch. "Sorry, Fernie."


Happy days.
--JHM

____
[1] Regardless of the dubious immediate context, it does look as if ‘poor’ Fernie does not really count for much over to the Romney Hills Livery Stables. Runnin’ S. Philip Fratboy ought to be enough to keep Fernie busy, though I daresay there are limits to hiow much fabulosity can be attained by that route.


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