In the most boring yet simultaneously fascinating piece of television there has been in some time, the Lindsay docuseries premiered on OWN featuring a newly sober Lindsay Lohan in the process of moving to New York under Oprah's Spiritual Guidance. Lindsay seems to be doing really well: she is clearing her life of clutter, listening to her sobriety coach, and staying away from potential temptations. That being said, there will never not be Mean Girls parallels in Lindsay's life.
Behold, the fetchest moments of Lindsay:
1. Her storage unit is "I made my parents trade me" huge. Seriously, is that one singular warehouse? There cannot be more storage units like that in one warehouse.
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2. She can't help it that she's so popular: "There's no party I haven't gone to, no person I haven't hung out with," says the girl whose Fairy Godmother is Oprah.
3. It may have looked like she was being a bitch, but that's only because she was acting like a bitch: No seriously, though: "I can't compromise myself and my sobriety by being in that headspace, by being stressed out. I'm here, I'm showing up, I'm sober, I'm dealing with it."
4. Unlike Regina George, she'd tell someone if she had the ugliest effing skirt she'd ever seen: "I don't like being lied to because I don't like to be a liar."
5. The lesson in all of this, I think, is that too many people said to Lindsay, "Get in, loser, we're going shopping." And now no one trusts her not to go on any more sprees of any kind, particularly the landlord of her new apartment, who asked her for a $10 million security deposit. (And you thought two months' rent was bad.)
Perhaps soon Girl World will finally be at peace.
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Lindsay Lohan Gets An Inevitable One Million Dollar Book Deal
Lindsay Lohan Is Going To Be A Total Bridezilla On 2 Broke Girls
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Photo Credit: OWN
