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Conchita Wurst is the best person alive. The stunning songstress just took home the top prize at Eurovision Song Contest 2014 with the delightful ballad, Rise Like a Phoenix. She sang her heart out in front of a TV audience of around 180 million people in 45 countries. Damn, girl!

When she won, she said through tears, "This is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom. We are unity and we are unstoppable." 

Beautiful! Love her! Want to be her!

Listen to her winning song below and covet her luscious locks and sparkly dress. If I looked that good in an evening gown, and if my voice were that rich and melodic, I'd stand on street corners all day and all night singing my little heart out. And people wouldn't call the cops because they'd be all, "Who is that woman with the voice of a world-weary Demi Lovato and the fashion sense of a Barbie Cher doll?! Leave her be!"

Conchita Wurst? More like Conchita "I'll show you all I'm the BEST."

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Laura Beck
Laura Beck is a Los Angeles-based TV writer and frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan.com — her work has appeared in the New York Times, New Yorker, Jezebel, and the Village Voice.