Voices of Experience: Get Over It (maybe not all of it)

Losing a mate to death is devastating but it's not a personal attack like divorce. When somebody you love stops loving you and walks away, it's an insult beyond comparison.  ~ Sue Merrell

Brenda Johnson thought her life was predictable until a sunny Saturday when her husband announced he wasn't happy. Stunned by the message, she picked her heart up off the floor and biked to the farmers market. When she began to live alone, her life was normal as she moved into each day with music from the last, but sadness lingered too long after a reasonable divorce with no hate, theft, or slander. Weary of tears, her mantra became, "Get over it!" Her memoir chronicles her family’s early years and the years after her husband left, when it took too long to get over the tears. The stories of before and after divorce, sprinkled with humor and sorrow, are familiar to anyone who has experienced loss.

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 7 - April 13, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

A recent study described subjective paranormal experiences with dead pets among 544 bereaved dog owners. These ghostly encounters took many forms and were almost always viewed as positive experiences. These paranormal experiences may help pet lovers deal with disenfranchised grief. Have You Ever Encountered the Ghost of a Deceased Pet? « Psychology Today

In Grief: Comparing Pet Loss to Loss of a Person

I question whether experiences of such severe loss can be quantified and compared.  Loss is loss, whatever the circumstances.  All losses are bad, only bad in different ways.  No two losses are ever the same.  Each loss stands on its own and inflicts a unique kind of pain.  What makes each loss so catastrophic is its devastating, cumulative, and irreversible nature . . . So whose loss is worse, hers or mine?  It is impossible to give an answer.  Both are bad, but bad in different ways.  ~ Jerry Sittser in A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 31 - April 6, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

A new sense of urgency has emerged for healthcare organizations to develop "sustainable and accessible bereavement care" and to cultivate a "bereavement-conscious" workforce to position bereavement as an "inherent element of the duty of care," authors of a recent opinion piece asserted. Incorporating Bereavement Into the Continuum of Care « MedPage Today

Meditation and Mindfulness in Grief

by Mary Friedel-Hunt, MA, LCSW

Acceptance in the mindful context means that even when the unthinkable happens, we honor our self and our experience with dignity and kindness. Rather than turn our back on our own suffering, we treat ourselves as we would a beloved friend.  ~ Heather Stang

Research studies confirm that the practice of meditation and mindfulness changes our brains and our lives; reduces pain, anxiety, confusion and stress; boosts the immune system; and increases concentration, focus and compassion, among its many other benefits. In addition, the practice of meditation and mindfulness can assist us in healing our grief, because it helps us live in the present moment...where our grief resides.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 24 - March 30, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Meghan Riordan Jarvis, a trauma-informed grief expert who specializes in how grief affects the body, told me that because the death of a loved one is a completely novel experience, it is "very energetically expensive." She confirmed that grief can impair our balance as well as memory and our ability to do multistep functions. Can grief make us accident-prone? « KLCC

Confronting The Lessons of Grief

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.  ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It is difficult to imagine surviving grief much less transcending it. How do we triumph over sorrow when it seems as if our pain will never end?

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 17 - March 23, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

From the loss of my daughter and countless hundreds of families I’ve helped over the years, I mapped out eight guidelines for how to go on after a devastating loss called “The Eight Honorings.” As outlined in my book, How We Go On, each of these honorings speaks to the answerable and unanswerable questions that Meghan’s parents are asking. The Love That Never Dies « Psychology Today

Take Care in Seeking Comfort and Support in Grief

You need many teachers, not one teacher; you need many gurus, not one guru; you need many books not one book!  ~ Mehmet Murat ildan

A reader writes: One of my recent problems has to to do with a book I’m reading, consisting mainly of writings and 'lectures' by a man who claims to be an actual avatar, a real embodiment of God Itself, and whose claims of how things really are, and how a continuing life might be for anyone, are very, very close to what I already believed to be the most logical and sensible way things probably worked. BUT, a few of the things he says have also been not only different, but quite frightening, at least to me.

Understanding and Managing Grief, March 10 - March 16, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

When people talk about managing grief, often this involves grieving for someone who’s already passed. However, there are times when a loved one may be approaching the end of their life, perhaps due to an illness or age. In this situation, some find that they have already begun experiencing aspects of grief. Strategies for Preparing and Coping with Imminent Loss « AfterTalk