He wasn’t hiding in a cave — he was living in a man cave.
The leader of the world’s most well-funded global terror network looks more like a Bowery bum in home movies that show him huddled in his rec room admiring images of himself on a clunky TV.
The pasty-faced, shaggy sheikh clutches a ratty blanket and wears a scruffy wool cap in the blooper reel of life inside the Abbottabad compound where the 9/11 mastermind’s been hiding since 2005.
In one of the five astonishing clips captured by SEALs and released without audio yesterday by the Pentagon, Osama bin Laden sways stoop-shouldered on the floor as he stares at the flickering TV screen and strokes his beard.
VIDEO: PRIVATE FACE OF OSAMA BIN LADEN
The No. 1 terrorist in the world, whose head once carried a $25 million “dead or alive” reward, is channel surfing.
Instead of springing for a hi-def, wall-mounted plasma television to pimp his bunker in suburban Islamabad, the terror fiend opted for a tiny outdated boob tube he couldn’t unload for free on Craigslist.
The vintage television is propped up on a rickety wood desk with drawers left open. Power cords and cables dangle from the ceiling, creating a knot of cords on the messy floor where bin Laden is plopped next to a pillow and unplugged computer monitor.
The video shows him choosing among dozens of cable channels on a menu screen, with his favorite network, al-Jazeera, highlighted.
Waving the remote control around in his right hand, he appears to quickly change the channel when an image of President Obama flashes on the screen.
But he lingers on an image of his face next to the burning World Trade Center towers.
“You can see that in this video bin Laden has not colored or trimmed his beard, suggesting this practice is one he reserved for films he planned to distribute,” a senior US intelligence official said yesterday at a Pentagon briefing. “You can also see him gesturing to the person recording him, to focus on the image on television of bin Laden firing a rifle.”
In another clip, bin Laden seems more ready for prime time, dressed in an eye-popping gold robe and a white cap, with his beard trimmed and dyed a more youthful jet black. He stands against a blue background.
That clip, likely filmed sometime last fall between Oct. 9 and Nov. 5, was a full-length propoganda message lashing out at the United States.
Obama administration officials decided not to release the audio track — and give a platform for his message of hate. They said bin Laden was ranting against capitalism and airing his worn-out grievances about American foreign policy.
In a third video, bin Laden stands in front of an armoire found in his bedroom during the Navy SEAL raid early Monday. The raw footage, which bathes the terrorist in a creepy yellow glow, was thought to be a “practice video.”
When he’s not staring straight into the camera, the wooden terror chief appears to be strictly reading from prepared statements.
The other two videos — one haphazardly filmed in front of a rumpled bed sheet and another in front of a dull, brown background — were also outtakes that would make the terror lord flop in his watery grave.
The videos depict a terrorist mastermind obsessed with his own image. Bin Laden is seen closely monitoring his own press — and adhering to a strict beauty regime of regular dye jobs so as not to appear old and gray in the public eye.
The black, manicured beard is further proof his vanity — and also serves as a pathetic attempt to quell rumors that he was ill or injured after escaping from Tora Bora in Afghanistan in 2001, analysts said yesterday.
But it was bin Laden unplugged in the home videos — with his gray hair and an unkempt, scraggly old man’s beard that looks like a prop from SNL’s “terrorist” costume closet.
Videos of bin Laden glued to media accounts of his own exploits underscore how he micromanaged al Qaeda from deep in his filthy lair.
He was believed to have been plotting yet another terrorist attack on the United States.
The videos were released as further proof of bin Laden’s death without releasing controversial photographs of his lifeless body, senior intelligence officials said. Bin Laden’s beard was its natural gray Monday when he was blown away.
“This clearly was an al Qaeda leader who was very interested in his own image,” the official said. “[He] jealously guarded his image.”