To paraphrase Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a married man in possession of a vast fortune must be in want of a newer, younger wife. You know the archetype: a flashy, high-maintenance former beauty queen, who started by redecorating the corporate board room and moved on to the C.E.O.’s bedroom. Blonde and Botoxed, she’s the flesh-and-bones equivalent of a midlife-crisis Corvette.

Obviously, not all third wives fall into this category.

Having watched endless clips of the way Wendi Deng Murdoch leapt to her husband’s defense in London this week, we decided it’s time to retire the old cliché and advance to the next “I want one of those” babes, to satisfy the covetous little Goldman Sachs partner in all of us.

Herewith, a comparison chart:

Trophy Wife Tiger Wife Pedigree: Former runner-up to Miss Oklahoma, 1996 Le Rosey boarding school, Rolle, Switzerland Education: University of Florida, Gainesville, B.A., sociology dept. London School of Economics, Harvard M.B.A. Maternal instincts: She’ll hate the children from your first marriage Will force your kids to excel at piano, violin, Mandarin, advanced molecular theories Aspiration: A post-divorce reality TV show Outside directorship, Boeing Shoes: Hooker platforms Nothing that makes her taller than her Master of the Universe C.E.O. Fashion accessory: Hermès Birkin bag The Financial Times On a first-name basis with: Serge, the hairdresser Warren Buffett Airplane reading: People, Us Weekly Foreign Affairs Would kill for an invite to: The Vanity Fair Oscar party Deliver a talk at the TED conference Childhood dress-up fantasy: Fairies and princesses Ninjas and C.E.O.’s Favorite movie: Pretty Woman Kill Bill Envious of: Everyone Maybe Anna Wintour, but not really Most in her element at: A cosmetic surgeon’s office Davos Party circuit: Dallas/Aspen/Maui London/New York/Shanghai Explaineth her husband: “She makes me feel young.” “I just want someone who’ll come to meetings with me and punch people out.”